Hoping everyone enjoys their VD

(Valentine's Day, that is)

I know Mondays are supposed to be long days. The past couple weeks have been nice and have gone quickly, but today seems to be dragging on, and I've still got about 4 hours left here at the school. I shouldn't complain, things are pretty good overall, I'm healthy, happy and stayin on top of school work.

But it's not that easy because I'm still waiting for a w-2 from a company I worked for last year. It's kind of ridiculous, to be honest. Three weeks ago they told me they had it handled. Two and a half weeks ago, they told me to send a self addressed stamped envelope, which I sent two weeks ago. They still won't work with me on this. It's over two weeks late and it's frustrating. I decide to call the IRS, which I was hoping would help resolve the issue. I had to tell three different people my complaint and was put on hold for over 20 minutes, only to be told that the IRS cannot take action until after the 14th. Even then, all they would do is send me a letter with an attachment so I can fill it out and send it back for them to handle it.

Sorry for venting, but it was bugging me quite a bit and I just had to get it off my chest.
(and yes, Happy Valentine's day to everyone celebrating today)

Holidaze turn me into a bit of a diva.

Well, not every holiday, and not every time. But usually Thanksgiving, Christmas and a few others. I do love the holidays though, and I definitely love being with family.

Love,

Joey Danger

poetry SLAM

This is an interesting scene for me. I'm so new to all of this. Throwing words faster than breath would normally allow. Many different people, races, ages, gender; whatever it is, they all have a story to tell. Many of them like to talk about how things didn't go well for them or stories about how they wish they had done something different in their past. I've been told by a few friends that I should maybe get up and throw my words down. First of all, you had to sign up earlier, and second of all, while I don't believe I'm held back by lack of creativity, I would rather throw myself down with a guitar.

It's interesting.

Love,

Joey Danger

Conan O'Brien Presents: Team Coco @ TeamCoco.com

Conan O'Brien Presents: Team Coco @ TeamCoco.com

How is Conan O'Brien and TeamCoco so amazing? I can't believe he came back with as much power as he did. It's quite a feat. He's had a few pretty big names drop by, and even some Coco loyalists in the form of NBC-owned actors, including Jack MacBrayer or Kenneth the page, as I'm sure most of you recognize him. Anyway, brand new episode tonight featuring LL Cool J, BJ Novak and Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings. It's gonna be good. It's great to have you back Coco and Andy!

CMT : Photos : Studio 330 Sessions' Best of 2009 : Belting a Note

CMT : Photos : Studio 330 Sessions' Best of 2009 : Belting a Note

I've been told recently that I look like the singer from the Zac Brown band. Normally I would just be like whatever, because honestly, the past few look alike suggestions don't even come close. I had heard Tom Brady, Jesus, some others that I can't even remember, but I thought I would check this one out, and I think it's actually pretty accurate. Let me know what you think, mmkay?

oh and listen to KiD CuDi too.

Kid Cudi: 'The Legend of Mr. Rager' Trailer #4 (Prefix Premiere)

Kid Cudi: 'The Legend of Mr. Rager' Trailer #4 (Prefix Premiere)

Can you really believe he is this big?! KiD CuDi is only getting bigger and bigger. His first first studio album was retarded good. You could call it Altruistic brute-force beauty. Don't ask me what that means, I don't have an answer. I just know that it sounds super haggard.

His second album the legend of mister rager is amazing in a totally different way. As in, the man on the moon 1, it was more-so a hip hop album than anything else. But if you pay attention, there are a few tracks with Ratatat and one of those said songs, also features very indie rockers, MGMT. It's quite a track. I had to listen to it twice in a row last week while driving home because it presented me with such euphoria. I can't remember exactly, but I believe the track is called, "Alive." Don't quote me on it if I'm wrong. This second album is quite different. There is only one or two, if any, hip hop tracks on this album. He really took a leap of faith with his fans. I think he kind of knew it would be like this, and he know the fans would follow. Why else would Mr. Kanye West let him take on such a risk. I've been blogging more than usual lately, and specifically about Mr. Scott Mescudi, or KiD CuDi as the world has come to know him. Sorry about that, he's just such a champion. Have a wonderful week, maybe day, depending on how well it goes.

Once upon a time, nobody gave a ****, it's all said and done and my ****'s been sucked?

YouTube - Kid Cudi - Soundtrack To My Life (LIVE) in NYC

This song is so much better when you watch him perform it. I've been in Rexburg for about sixteen hours, and I've listened to this song maybe a dozen times already. Oh and I was asleep for the first six hours.

Well, it's a few hours later now, which means time to go back down to Utah. Down to Amarillo tomorrow. Oh, but I'll get there some time on Friday. These things happen. We'll meet again soon, subscribers.

10 Days 10,000 Free Conan Shirts! @ TeamCoco.com

10 Days 10,000 Free Conan Shirts! @ TeamCoco.com

Okay, this system is definitely flawed or rigged or something. I don't know exactly what it is, but I won the first tee shirt so easily, and that was on a Saturday, when everyone was ready to win, the very first day, where everyone was on their toes. Maybe I'm retarded and can't beat a computer, but I wanna keep winning shirts. I'll try to figure it out. If you have any thing you want to throw in to help or to mock me, please do so. Thanks.

Lack of sleep leads to a beautiful breakdown

Think about it. We all know that it's true. If you stay up late enough, eventually you will run into a point in the night where anything is possible. There is a song, I can't remember if it's Frou Frou or someone else, where it talks about "beauty in the breakdown." It was in the movie, Garden State. Back to the present day, or night if you will. I've been in Rexburg for like four days or so? Something like that. I've been staying with Tom George and his roommates in the Pines. I've met some new friends while at the same time running into people from the past. The majority of the people that i inadvertently ran into had no positive or negative preference on me of seeing, except for tonight at Broulims. I mean, it's not like anything bad ever happened with her, never kissed or anything or had a fight or anything at all. We just stopped talking. I went to check out tonight and went in her line, saw it was her, and walked to the other line, which had a couple of people that had quite a few things to purchase. I didn't mind waiting, I just didn't want to have an awkward conversation. The people working told me she could help me in the other line, so i walked over, kept my head down and didn't talk. But then, she saw my face. It's not bad, just kind of like ughhhhh. We talked for a couple minutes, and I left, unharmed.

I've been getting back into crayons and coloring pictures for no apparent reason. It's been pretty fun. I'm not talented at all. I just draw and color to get creative energy released. I think i want to get back into coloring on part of the paper and writing songs based off the drawings i come up with. I draw a lot of hearts and eyes and I don't really know why. I mean, the tattoo I drew that's on my chest has a heart and eyes, but who knows. I'm done with tattoos anyway, but I'll keep drawing just because I can.

Tomorrow or later today if you want to be a douche and be technical, we're going to skate at the St. Anthony skate park, which will be pretty awesome. We're gonna try to make a stop motion skate video, well, i mean, it's a plan, and i think we can actually get it done. He's got a cool computer and the know-how. I've got too much music, so I'll come up with that and steez points. Who knows what will actually go down, but let's try to have tomorrow at least be half as awesome as today was. I'm a little tired now and might fall asleep, so let's end on a good note and enjoy our time.

The house of someone I know

I'm sitting with my legs extended on a brown couch in the house of a lady that I quite admire.  She's a beautiful young lady that I have contained feelings of for a long time.  I feel as if she can see right through me, but it does not worry me the least bit.   She knows I would drive any distance to see her.  As I have the previous night.  I would drive it again tomorrow if she would ask me to, but she already knows this.

I seek nothing unholy, but I desire to sit right next to her shortly.  I'm hoping we watch a film, but you know how these things go.  She's a classy woman, and I've learned to try to be classy, and she can make sure I maintain this level of class.  While a friend of mine encourages me to kiss her this night, because girls love to be swept off their feet.  While I do love this angle, I feel she would not desire it.  She's an old-fashioned lady, and I want to respect that.  I'll consider it a wonderful night if I hold her hand.  I would drive home smiling even if that doesn't happen.  I know that no one will read this, but it's the thought that counts.  I'm putting my thoughts out there for anyone that wants to explore my brain.

Man, was he fat. So, so fat.

So I haven't written you all in a very long time. I guess that means that not too much has been happening. It's totally okay with me if that's okay with you. I'd rather wait until I have something clever to say.

I'm currently sitting on Erik's couch in Bellevue, Washington. It's pretty chill here. The drive was a little uneventful, but Jackie kept me company on the road, along with all my music on shuffle. We made it in about four hours, give or take a little bit. We got here and hung out for a little bit and then headed over to Little Caesar's for some pizza and went and had a picnic type thing by the lake. It was really chilly, but you know, with warm pizza, and the company of some cool people, the warmth was there for sure. You know, I'm just a little retarded, but hey, what can you expect?

After that, we walked around for a while, and just took some pictures. Then maybe we drove around, I can't really remember. The next thing I do remember though is a show that we went to at some teen center. The crowd wasn't all that big, and there weren't really any like "official" bands, but we made the best of the situation. Chillin all cool in the corner, playing charades with pictionary cards. Who knew we were that cool...

We're finishing off the night now, watching a film or two or ten..

Love,

The Only One

If I ain't on my grind, then what you call that?

I realized that I don't write in here as much. It probably has something to do with me starting school a little over a month ago, and even more with me finding a job. That's right, I have a job now, but I'll tell you more about that in a few minutes.

School is going great, just kind of weird being back in school and actually handling business. The last two attempts at college were about as shitty as can possibly be. Sorry for the language, but I was that ignorant to how important education is, and now that I have finally turned it around, I realize that it was really that bad on my part.

So I have four classes that take up my school portions of the week. First of all there is my English 101 class. It's not that bad, I have a girl in the class that is kind of annoying. It's that big of a deal that I have someone else in the class, it's actually nice because she makes me look like a better student than I really am most of the time. We've had two essays so far, and another one due next week for midterm. It's a research essay. We've had like four or five quizzes, of which I've gotten perfect scores on, but it's no big deal. I'm not sure what I want to research for my next essay, but you know me, I'll find something good.

My other class is English 104, which is English: Punctuation and Grammar. It seems to be one of those classes where if you show up, show general interest in the classwork and offer participation, you'll get a good grade. I sure hope I'm right on that, because that's what I've been doing, and it seems to be going well so far. Today was a funny day, I mean that something happened in class that made me laugh out loud. This girl that has grown up around the English language was incorrect in finding a verb in a sentence, but then the Russian girl, like legitimate Russian born Russian girl, corrected her. I was probably the only person that found humor in this, but that doesn't stop me from laughing.

Then of course there is my Microsoft Word class. This one is a little weird. I have all the assignments, and an instructor to help when I want it, but I have no classroom instruction, which really kind of throws me off. I still get everything done, but at least with the other classes there are set times. It's just weird to me, but that's okay. Sorry, I almost let my mind wander somewhere, but I'll touch back on that in a minute.

My last class that I have the opportunity of attending is US History 136. It's from the beginning of America to 1877. I have one other student in my class for that one too. She's nicer than the girl in my English class, but there's always a way to make it bad. She didn't tell her kids about the Love You Long Time concert, that personally I think would have been a good experience for anyone, so naturally she won't have a top spot in my book. It's okay, maybe someday she can redeem herself. No big deal. The class itself is pretty fun. I have a book report due monday which I'm doing on Common Sense, by Tom Paine! I have been running a train on those quizzes, so you should be happy.

Now, on to the working world, or whatever you wanna call the life of the employed. I got hired last week at Subway in Airway Heights. The first few days, they had me rocking the cash register, which I pretty much rocked the house on, so that's a good thing. I haven't operated one in over a year, but hey, I'm awesome. Last night they decided to start letting me design sandwiches. Wow, wasn't expecting that at all. Syke! I saw that they only scheduled me for three hours, and they sent me home 20 minutes early. Of course I was gonna be making sandwiches. I work tonight and tomorrow night until close, but I have Saturday night off. I have a few ideas of what I'll do...

So, back to my random thought that almost threw this whole thing out of order.. I wish there was a metro system here in Spokane. I don't think they deserve it, but for my own sake, I think it would just be great. I wrote a song about riding the metro, but it was a few years ago. I'm not really sure what reminded me of the metro, but I miss the hell out of it. I just want to hop on the metro with no destination. Just pay my fare and grab a seat, see what kinds of people I can meet, what interesting things I would see.

I'm doing quite well with myself lately, I find myself too busy to be caught up in trouble, which is a change from a year ago, where I was juggling two lifestyles. It's nice to be straight up with everyone, not live two lives and tell different people different stories. I kind of love being me again.

Love,

The Only One

Feelin' hella good!

Is it really my bad that I'm so irresistable? Okay, I admit it is a stretch for me to say something like that, but I'm pretty sure I'm not repulsive. I haven't written in a while, and my last few posts have been short and not really me speaking my mind. It's more like me just speaking my heart. I don't want you to think I stopped caring, there has just been a whole lot going on!

I have been living a dream since Thursday at this time of day. I was cleaning my room, and having a great time. I was getting the house ready for Jackie, Courtney and Andrew. We were having a tee shirt making party. It was a great time. Everyone was just getting great looking shirts, and I couldn't decide what color shirt I wanted to use, or what pattern to go with or anything like that. We took an intermission to go to Twin Dragon, aka my favorite place in Airway Heights to relax. We returned back to my home and continued to put in work for our tee shirts. By the end of the night, every had their shirts completed, and I had a heart shape cut out of blue fabric with a panda on a red shirt. Great..

Friday morning came around, and I don't remember much. I think I was pretty busy getting my whole house ready. Kevin and Erik were coming into town and staying at my house! It was awesome, officially my first sleepover since Rexburg. I had to clean my bedroom and bathroom. My bedroom still looks decent, but my bathroom is ridiculous. I didn't know three people could make it look so bad in just a few short days. It's no big deal.

A little after four, I think it was exactly 4:15 to be exact, Erik and Kevin were calling me from right outside the air force base, letting me know they were ready to be picked up. I was antsy! I had just finished my outfit for the night, and they got there literally right after! Next Jackie, Courtney and Andrew showed up, so I went to pick them up. Shortly after, Mitch called. He needed a place to shower after work, and it saves him time to just stop by my house instead of driving all the way back to his house. It's understandable.

Once we were all ready to get our groove on, we all drove downtown in two vehicles. Mitch in his truck and all the kids in my car! It was the best ever. We were all rocking some awesome music on our way to Chili's, because what better way to get ready for an amazing concert than going to eat at chili's? We got one of those big booths, and I sat on the cool side, aka the four people side, wouldn't wanna be caught dead on the three person side! Once we were done there, we had to head over to the concert, because we were anxioux to shake our tailfeathers and rock the dance floor like never before.

We got there and were ready to shake it fast. Naturally we attracted attention, especially me, with my sweet homemade shorts, just a few inches above the knee with some very heterosexual hearts hand painted to add a personal effect. It was pretty much the cat's pajamas. We got there and the Teen Hearts had a few songs left. We heard their cover of The Sign and also heard Hollywood Hearts. It was pretty good. I didn't really know the words too well, so I couldn't really sing along, but I could dance a little bit.

I'll be honest, I could tell that I was running low on energy, and that Love You Long Time's set would kill me if I didn't get an energy drink, so before Goodnight Sunrise started playing, we ran to the nearest gas station. That's actually what this picture is from. Look at those legs? Those are the legs of a sweet, sweet boy. Just looking at a picture of me makes me feel great.

We got back and watched Goodnight Sunrise play a few more songs. They put on a really good show as well, but again, I didn't know any lyrics. Now we were all getting anxious. We heard that Love You Long Time was supposed to be next, so we got hstoked! Then the Jiggy Watts came on. I wasn't expecting them, but I'll tell you what, they did not disappoint. They had some really good songs, and got some good dancing started. It was fun seeing everyone try to shake some hip hop moves. A little silly to be honest. They ended on a cover of "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band. It was amazing. There was amazing crowd participation, especially on that last one.

Now it was time for LYLT. We couldn't believe it, the time was actually here! Erik was nice enough to not only move me into a gap up front and very close to the stage, but also positioned me next to a very beautiful girl that I would later find on Myspace. It's a long story, maybe I'll tell it later. Then the music came on. INTENSE. I couldn't believe how great the show was. After you have seen a band so many times, you always know it's gonna be a great time, but I wasn't expecting it to be this great. It was a flawless performance. Not only did nail their older songs, but they performed their new jams with so much style, it would have MC Hammer beggin for royalties when they covered 2 Legit 2 Quit, even though their version was so much better than his. I can't even remember everything, but I will say that when they came back for an encore, the cheering was louder than every before. They came out and dropped Showstopper on us. They went out in style, like more style than ever before.

After that I went back to the front of base and dropped off Jackie, Courtney and Andrew so they could return home. After that I put on a some clothes that covered up a little more than my concert outfit and we headed off to Denny's. It was awesome. Our server was a little strange, but still offered great service in spite of his own character. I got my razzdango and a chicken strip sandwich and fries. It was pretty good for the money I suppose. We returned home after that, and not much more happened that night, if I'm not mistaken we just watched some Family Guy.

Saturday morning came and I really don't sleep in much, so as a result neither do my guests. I'm probably not the best host, but I still try to make 'em think I'm a swell guy. I didn't want to make them work at all while they were staying at my house, but I'm sure they didn't mind helping out a little bit. We took down my Christmas lights from the house and got cleaned up for the day. We decided to go to Bruchi's, which ended up a disappointment because they had chips instead of fries. I guess their fries are supposed to be pretty darn good. The cheesesteak was delicious though. After that I went with Jackie and Erik to Jackie's sister's family's house. Side not, I think I used too many possessive apostrophes in that last sentence. Sorry for any grammatical errors. It was pretty fun to hang out and watch the Office and play with Izzy. After that, we went to Boo Radleys downtown. It was alright, but I don't know why people think it's so cool, because it doesn't seem any different to me than Spencer's at the mall. It doesn't matter, as soon as I saw Amber walk in with her friends, I grabbed my friends and walked out without saying a word to her. After that we went into the mall, and I saw a guy I used to drink with working at Subway. That was just a little unnerving, but I didn't talk to him, so it's all good. We decided to seek refuge in the tie section of Macy's. We found this to be one of our best ideas all weekend. It was there that everyone found out that I have never been to Seattle. With the high likelyhood of me moving in the next few months, it would be a shame for me to never have visited Seattle. We are making plans to have me out there for Presidents weekend in less than a month. It's pretty much needless to say, but I am very excited for this to happen.

Yesterday started a little slower as the house was now empty of visitors, but that was okay, because we had a great time while they were visiting. I didn't really do much, and if I did, I don't remember it. I went shooting in the afternoon with my parents. I shot this awesome smith and wesson .45 that was just amazing. I was a pretty good shot, and it was just a lot of fun to go shooting again. After that, I went home for a few minutes then headed off to Family Home Evening. We played some ridiculous game that involved hitting a balloon across a room with your hands and having it popped by one of the goalies. My team lost, but I paid my dues. I'm pretty sure my right middle finger is slightly messed up. It's crooked, swollen and discolored. After that I hung out at Chelsie and Cari's apartment for a little bit and then drove home. I got some potato salad and steak for dinner and it was delicious. I also watched 24, and it was a pretty good episode, but it always leaves me wanting to watch more, but also gives me weird dreams. I woke up at 3:47 and started wondering what would happen if I was to be in a hostage situation.

Now today is here, and it means I'm one day closer to the weekend and one day closer to Seattle. I hope you have all been doing well, and I wish you the best throughout this week!

Love,

The Only One

Please don't let me become numb again. (part one)

Why is every day like hot 'n' cold. I don't even remember what I've told you. I have three different people, all with different things that are huge problems in their lives. When this is placed on me, it taxes my heart and brain. Some times these people only want to be friends when they need one, otherwise they treat me like complete rubbish. I have to say it up front though, there are some people that have always been my friend, no matter what. I want to take the time to thank the following individuals for not being temporary friends, but staying with me through thick and thicker: Tom George, Andy Lindberg, Brendan Hamilton, Clay Diffrient, Jacque Barnes, Kayla Packer, Mike George, and Talisa Moore. You have all been great friends, whether or not I was in some crisis.

Do you ever feel like things are just too crazy, and you don't know what to do.

"Until someone moves or cares,
Stay captive.
Keep yourself there,
Wait for love."

-Still Remains


I'm fuming right now, but now as bad as earlier. You never really know what to expect from people until something that stands out happens. I've done a lot of things in my life, and I know a lot of people that have had stuff happen to them. Sometimes these things get to me, and it hurts somewhat, but not like today. A beautiful young lady, Emma, was telling me about something that happened to her today, a situation that was totally flawed. It wasn't her fault. She felt pressured into a situation by Karyn and Cossette, two people that I now have no respect for at all. They are dead to me.

Eventually I talked on the phone with Emma, letting her know that she is not a bad person, and that she is worth so much more than the way she was treated today, because it's true, she really is. I could go out and say how bad I personally feel about Karyn and Cossette, but you know what, if people wanna know how I feel about people, they can ask me later. What they did to Emma is worse than anything they can do me. I've been through a lot, I have thick skin (and I'm fat too), so i can make it through things, and come out on top. Emma is still soft . They earned her trust, which included saying negative things about me that are absolute bullshit. I don't mind people talking about me, it just means I'm on their mind, but if they have an alterior motive, which includes acquiring the trust of someone that just wants to hang out with great people, that's too much for me.

We spent two hours on the phone. We both said a lot of things, A LOT. We both told each other things that not many other people know. We both cried. We're a lot closer now. I think we'll be better friends now.

Now to last night. I hung out with the lovely, miss Cari Lee. We watched Garden State and The Sixth Sense. It was pretty rad, I mean two great movies in one night? Pretty rad. After that we were just sitting on my couch talking when a commercial for pancakes came on, so naturally we got in the car, and went to Denny's for some pancakes. After that, we just went back and hung out in her living room. We watched informercials and listened to mellow music. It was really nice. Hopefully we hang again soon, because it was a lot of fun. Until next time...

Love,

The Only One

Why don't punks fall in love?

Just a few short years ago, ask me what I'm into music wise, what stuff I can get down to. Ask anyone at all, they would say Joe is a punk. I still have some punk records, I still love the Ramones. I listen to a much larger variety of music now though, there are many artists I have in my collection.

Everyone wants to paint the picture of a punk as someone that has no emotion, just doesn't care about the world or anything in it. Could care less about the government, and even less about love. I always cited one song in particular, which still stands strong in my heart, because I'm still a 15 year old boy on the inside, sometimes. That was a song by The Only Ones called, "Another Girl, Another Planet." Pretty amazing song, until Blink 182 covered it on their last studio album. I was bitter about that for a while, go figure.

Today I was listening to Dead Moon, because I love discovering new music, even if it isn't always new. They have a song called, "Crazy to the Bone." Here are the lyrics..

"Baby, baby, baby, come home on the midnight train
I been so long from you I can't remember when
I need you, little girl, 'cause I'm leaning on the wicked ledge
No matter how I try to get you outta my head

Time's running in on me
I don't care about security
Please won't you come on home
'cause I'm crazy, crazy, crazy for you down to the bone

Baby, baby, baby, through the eye of a hurricane
That's how far I'd go to see you again
The mystery telephone caller's dead on the line
Tried to get a message to you but it's been all night

Baby, baby, baby, come home on the midnight train
I'll be waiting on the platform to get you in my arms again
I never through you mattered, mattered as much as you do
I never thought being alone was being without you"

That sounds like something I would write. I probably wouldn't sing it nearly as raw as he does, but man, those lyrics are simple, picturesque and perfect.

Love,

The Only One

Dwight, get out of my nook!

Oh man, can you believe that tomorrow is officially the last day of 2008? I don't want to get totally retrospective, but I want to clear my mind. This has just been one crazy, crazy year. I started off the year ending a quarter at SFCC with horrible grades, skateboarding all the time, working part time at Taco Time, and just started getting into drinking. I was drunk at a single's dance. I remember it all, or at least most of it. I remember people thought I was crazy, or just straight up didn't like me. It's understandable. I wasn't much back then. I really wasn't. I kissed around ten girls that night, just pecks on the cheek. I actually had one girl that I told her I wasn't going to kiss her, but that I would just give her a new year's eve hug. I lied, and ended up getting slapped. I deserved it I suppose. It's okay, how I was I supposed to know that she was going to get proposed to in three days. Whoops...

On January 22, I began working full time at Downtown Toyota. It didn't take me long to pick up smoking, a lot. It started out as cigarettes, and was that most of the time, and most of the money. I have always been horrible at saving money, but when you're wasting it on cigarettes, it disappears even faster than before. In March, I met a girl online named Mallory Ann, and she stole my pearls. After that, we broke up, and I started drinking more, and doing more stupid stuff. On memorial day, I met a girl named Amber Bakly, who was pretty amazing, and seemed to be a perfect fit for me. We were both trying to correct our mistakes that we had made in the past and trying to be better. Mostly because of my foolish mistakes, it didn't work out. We broke up at 4 in the morning on June 14, the day after the 70s and 80s dance. I made out with a midget the next day because I was on the rebound. I continued to smoke and drink, and started smoking weed. I was a fool, in so many ways.

I kept doing stupid stuff, a lot of it. I went to three family reunions over the course of the summer, and I loved seeing everyone, and it made me want to stop everything and be a better person, but when I came back to Spokane, I just wanted to be bad again. In mid August, I left for my mission, only to come home after 5 days. I had done a lot of bad things, and came home. That was a very sobering moment for me, literally and metaphorically.

I have been clean from everything since August 8th, I stopped counting the days after a hundred, I'm just proud of myself, although I wish I could say I have been clean my whole life. Since I came home, I got a job at a Roofing Supply company, doing data entry. It was a great job, I made ten dollars an hour, and became friends with a few of the guys there. Shortly after the fun began, temp workers started getting the ax. I outlasted seven other guys, which was crazy to me, but I basically did the work that my bosses would have to do if I had not been there, so they kept me as long as they could, which I was okay with. I got laid off on November 11th. One week after Obama took office, but don't worry, I'm not bitter. Other than a one day job I had later that week, I have been unemployed since then. It's been very tough and stressful trying to deal with that.

School has also been a huge challenge. I have wanted to get back into school so bad. My life has felt like it has been in a funk since I got put on academic suspension from BYU-Idaho. It's okay, I earned it, and I'm not bitter about them placing that status on me. I just wish I would have been smarter and not screwed myself over on that. I was set up to go to the following schools in at least one way or another, but they ended up not working: BYU-Idaho; Salt Lake Community College; Utah Valley University, LDS business College; University of Phoenix. Up until yesterday, I was unsure of what the future would hold for me. My Mom, bless her soul, told me to check out the distance learning program they offered from Spokane Falls Community College via the library complex here on Fairchild Air Force Base. After her kind urging, I went over there, ended up coming back home registered for two English classes, a U.S. History class as well as a Microsoft Word class, I'll also sign up to get credit for Institute, putting me somewhere in the region of getting 18 credits or so, I'm very excited and anxious to start. Now as I look into the future, I feel hopeful again instead of worried that something from my past will come back to haunt me. I don't know exactly what is to come of the future, but I feel comfortable with not knowing. I wish you all the best in the new year.

Love,

The Only One

The sun never gets cancelled, or in other words, why would you cancel New Year's Eve?

I'm very, very bitter right now. I have been told they might cancel this whole New Year's Eve dance that I have heard, and been excited about, for a while. To me, this is just ideal. Lots of good people all together in one place, to have a great time. Seems ideal, right?

Wrong.. Apparently. They canceled a dance a few weeks ago that was sounding very amazing. It was gonna basically be amazing, like the cat's pajamas type awesome. That one was hard to believe, but still understandable. I was fed up, but we got two feet of snow two days before, so it makes sense. We have had no new snow today, there is a forecast of light snow for the next few days. There is no logical reason to cancel this. I'm stretching my mind like crazy to find a reason but I cannot. I have whipped out a perfect, edited to radio clean standards, playlist for a dance in less than three days, while having a full time job. Don't tell me things are impossible.

If you can dream it, it is not impossible.

I'm not a motivational speaker, in fact, I think I hate you. Just kidding, you're reading this. I love you. But seriously. You're making me think too hard. I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. I really love hanging out with family, especially when my siblings and families come into town, because they are really good company. But there was nothing going on for the singles, and it feels like forever since there has been anything like that. I needed last night. I found out about it late Friday night. It was a little get together, with word that was poorly spread, obviously, but it was set up to be very fun. We played pool and played rock band as well. I'm only a singer. I cannot play drums, and I'm not too good at fake guitar. The only thing that is real on that is singing, which is why I choose to dominate that aspect of the game. Some people were just lame, just being totally whack when it comes to singing. This one girl was barely letting us know she had vocal chords, I was tripping, like is this girl for real? There was also some broseph that was condescending with his tone when was talking about my shoes. Next time I see him, I'll swiftly tell him to piss off in my mind... again.

Love,

The Only One

I said maybe.. You're gonna be the one that saves me..

"Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me"
----Oasis----

This song just goes in and out of my head sometimes. Don't think I need help or something like that. I don't need you to save me. I'm actually doing pretty well. Today is Christmas day, at least it still is for most of the world, or at least part of it. But you won't read this today. Today was a pretty swell day, and it's only seven o'clock in the Post Meridian time. I'm okay with that. I'll be up for at least 8 hours more. There is a snowball fight scheduled for tonight, and it's the first one I've had in years. I hope my form is good still. I used to be a pretty amazing talent at it, and I'll tell you more about that later on. It's dinner time.

Merry Christmas,

The Only One

Just Dance

Go figure. As one important person leaves your life, someone else will step in. I don't know exactly what the impact of the two opposing events will be, but I know that I'm ready for whatever happens. I'm currently listening to Weezer's Christmas album. It's only got a few songs, but this is the perfect year for something like this. At a time when major Artists and Groups protest most things I hold sacred and dear, you have Weezer coming out with a beautiful take on classic Christmas songs. I really think they did a great job with it to. Well done, boys.

Tonight I received a text from Amanda Lynn Sever tonight saying "Will you stop texting me." Before I got this, I had asked her if she had gotten any snow over in Illinois yet. I guess that's me being too intrusive. This would have probably hurt and offended me, had I not been already numb from anything Amanda could do to me. We have a long history. Three years ago, our personalities became intertwined. We became best friends, and I don't mean it like when most people say stuff like, "Oh my gosh! We used to be, like, best friends ever, like totally BFF's." We really were best friends. I still have all of her letters she sent me. I still have the sweatshirt she made me for my 18th birthday. I still have a shirt she made me. I still have a button she gave me, her favorite button. I still remember every single word we ever said to each other. Looking back, I think she has caused me enough love and pain for three lifetimes. I want to let it be known, I still believe she has the potential to be great for future friendships with other people. I can't bear to go through whatever she trys to put me through again. I can't, I won't.

I don't want to dwell much on this. Because it's the past. I will gladly answer any questions at your request, but on my own free will, I don't wanna write about it right now. Maybe later.

Have you heard of Lady GaGa? She is mind blowing. I love her. She's got the blondest hair I have ever loved. I saw her on the today show on Monday morning I think. She was showing Kathy Lee Gifford, formerly of Regis and Kathy Lee fame, and some mexican lady how to dance. Like I was paying attention to those two! Lady Gaga steals the show, I mean making it so hot it's stolen, Imma drop a line, make a scene like Gary Coleman.

I started listening to her whole CD, The Fame, as well as reading her profile on Wikipedia. She's just mind blowing. The things that surprised me the most were not her current status, but her past. She got her stage name from a Queen song you may have heard, Radio GaGa. Also, you know that little lightning bolt under her eye in the video for Just Dance? Yep, she likes David Bowie, just like me.

As one important figure purposely drops you out of their life, don't feel too down. A pop star is always waiting to join your life story. Thank you, Lady GaGa. Thank you.

Love,

The Only One