I said maybe.. You're gonna be the one that saves me..

"Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me"
----Oasis----

This song just goes in and out of my head sometimes. Don't think I need help or something like that. I don't need you to save me. I'm actually doing pretty well. Today is Christmas day, at least it still is for most of the world, or at least part of it. But you won't read this today. Today was a pretty swell day, and it's only seven o'clock in the Post Meridian time. I'm okay with that. I'll be up for at least 8 hours more. There is a snowball fight scheduled for tonight, and it's the first one I've had in years. I hope my form is good still. I used to be a pretty amazing talent at it, and I'll tell you more about that later on. It's dinner time.

Merry Christmas,

The Only One

Just Dance

Go figure. As one important person leaves your life, someone else will step in. I don't know exactly what the impact of the two opposing events will be, but I know that I'm ready for whatever happens. I'm currently listening to Weezer's Christmas album. It's only got a few songs, but this is the perfect year for something like this. At a time when major Artists and Groups protest most things I hold sacred and dear, you have Weezer coming out with a beautiful take on classic Christmas songs. I really think they did a great job with it to. Well done, boys.

Tonight I received a text from Amanda Lynn Sever tonight saying "Will you stop texting me." Before I got this, I had asked her if she had gotten any snow over in Illinois yet. I guess that's me being too intrusive. This would have probably hurt and offended me, had I not been already numb from anything Amanda could do to me. We have a long history. Three years ago, our personalities became intertwined. We became best friends, and I don't mean it like when most people say stuff like, "Oh my gosh! We used to be, like, best friends ever, like totally BFF's." We really were best friends. I still have all of her letters she sent me. I still have the sweatshirt she made me for my 18th birthday. I still have a shirt she made me. I still have a button she gave me, her favorite button. I still remember every single word we ever said to each other. Looking back, I think she has caused me enough love and pain for three lifetimes. I want to let it be known, I still believe she has the potential to be great for future friendships with other people. I can't bear to go through whatever she trys to put me through again. I can't, I won't.

I don't want to dwell much on this. Because it's the past. I will gladly answer any questions at your request, but on my own free will, I don't wanna write about it right now. Maybe later.

Have you heard of Lady GaGa? She is mind blowing. I love her. She's got the blondest hair I have ever loved. I saw her on the today show on Monday morning I think. She was showing Kathy Lee Gifford, formerly of Regis and Kathy Lee fame, and some mexican lady how to dance. Like I was paying attention to those two! Lady Gaga steals the show, I mean making it so hot it's stolen, Imma drop a line, make a scene like Gary Coleman.

I started listening to her whole CD, The Fame, as well as reading her profile on Wikipedia. She's just mind blowing. The things that surprised me the most were not her current status, but her past. She got her stage name from a Queen song you may have heard, Radio GaGa. Also, you know that little lightning bolt under her eye in the video for Just Dance? Yep, she likes David Bowie, just like me.

As one important figure purposely drops you out of their life, don't feel too down. A pop star is always waiting to join your life story. Thank you, Lady GaGa. Thank you.

Love,

The Only One

Oh my gosh, the snow is almost up to his wiener!

Don't you just love snow? Like it's totally boss, and totally everything so rad just like that. I love to play in the snow. I love to look at the snow. I love to dance in the snow. I love to watch people slip and fall in the snow. I hate.. driving in the snow.

I spent the past few days in Kennewick, Washington at Jackie (burkhardt) ->onassis<- Barnes house. It was awesome. The night before I went down there was awesome too, just ask Karma. Seriously, ask them, Karyn Kearnes and Emma Taylor. They're pretty neat. But they already know how I feel. Besides, we're talking about Kennewick now, right?

Right.

We got there sometime close to the time school got out. All the kids got there about the same time we did. It was a lot of fun. Everyone was there! I rode down with Andrew, Alex and Courtney. Kevin lives there, and so does Jackie. Also Sam, Taylor and Kat were there. I met Sherri, Paul and Sarah, too, and some of the neighbor kids. Jackie's house seems to be the cool cool happy fun house. I'm cool with that. I always want to be in the fun zone. It was fun the whole time pretty much. We got there and Sherri made us some Turkey noodle soup. It was delectable. After that, we played Rock Band for a few hours, and I rocked the vocals. Everyone said I was awesome, even though the mic was broken and screwed up my points. I was still entertainment. Besides, look at Thin Lizzy. They were amazing, and got virtually no love from the critics.

After that, we watched Drop Dead Gorgeous. That is a weird movie, but it's pretty awesome. I really enjoyed it, even though a certain Brittany Hill was lame and was only talking to me in text form during the movie, oh, and the whole time I was there. We didn't talk once in person. Our eyes locked once and we waved at each other. It's kind of weird when you talk to someone in text form and have all this totally awesome and fun stuff planned out, and then when it comes time to show up, she decides to shut up. Like I'm something that's not worth attention. I'm sorry, but if I want hot 'n' cold, I'll listen to Katy Perry, I don't need to deal with that in real life from another beautiful girl. Like it matters, she won't read this either, she won't change. I don't care that only bothers me for a little bit. Besides, we were having a blast, that is me and the people I actually went to see. That night we went to Red Robin, and I flirted with our waitress. She was a good flirt, but turned down my invitation to come back to the hot tub. It's a-okay though. She was nice about it. After that, we or course went to the hot tub, and it was awesome. I got a foot massage. It was decent, at least enough to loosen my feet slightly.

Fast forward a couple half hours. There was a massage party going. It included Sam, Kevin, Sarah and I. I can't remember exactly, but I think I massaged all of them, and a couple of them massaged me. Either way, I slept like 12 hours. So long!

Next day we just woke up and watched videos on youtube and read things on wikihow. That site is crazy, you should check it out if you ever wanna learn stuff in a really funny way. They teach you how to give and hide hickeys. We laughed at that one for a little bit. After that, we went to a Chinese buffet, followed by Value Village. I got a brown V-neck button up sweater. It's pretty dope, as you can see..

A short while later, we went up to Fairchild Cinema, or whatever Kevin's family calls it. Either way, it's an awesome theater. We saw Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. I rather enjoyed it, it was romantic and awkward comedy rolled into one, and I think they did a pretty good job putting it together. And it had Tim McGraw!

We ended up in the hot tub again last night. We told ghost stories and creepy stuff like that. I actually just remembered that I forgot to tell them my true story that occurred earlier this year, but I think they'll forgive me, because I'm sure I'll hang out with them again, because they are all pretty neat. We were watching more videos on YouTube, especially in the realm of live tv accidents. There are some pretty good clips. Out of nowhere, they ordered some pizza, one of which was a chicken pizza. It totally restored my broken faith in the Pizza Mia pizzas. I must have eaten half of that pizza, and it was so good. After that, we watched the episode of The Office where Michael goes to Canada, and then watched The Longest Yard, aka the second Adam Sandler football movie. I got tired of cuddling with Jackie on the love seat, so I turned around and pushed her off. She says I was asleep, I say she is retarded, but it's all good.

This morning I decided to wake up at 8. I wasn't dissapointed, because I don't really need all that much sleep for myself. I know it's supposed to be healthy, but look at me, I think I'm doing pretty good for myself. I tried to eat a pancake, with syrup, without a plate, but Sherri caught me, and put a plate under me. I wasn't really too sad, because I was also handed a glass of Sunny D. One thing people should know about me, assuming you all don't already know this, is that I love Sunny D. I rarely drink it, because I always forget how good it is until I drink it. After that, we just watched fat people falling and good stuff like that on YouTube and got ready to leave for the day. I didn't really wanna go home today. I like it in Kennewick, but I know I had to come home. I just wish it didn't have to be so soon. I'm happy I made it home safe though, because the roads were horrible, and they're getting worse.. No matter how much I complain, and how much shit I talk about people, I really do worry and care for all of you, even if I talk down about you on here, I still care for you. I want everyone to travel safe, and I want everyone to be happy, and have a Merry Christmas.

Love,

The Only One

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Have you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking? Yeah, me neither. There's just something about knowing that you look good that makes you wanna look good forever. I know I'm not exactly your Fabio or whatever dream guy you have in mind, but picture this: I got soul, too.

Last night I think I was up late. I was watching Nick at Nite most of the time, and it was pretty good fun. I normally change the channel when Family Matters comes on, but last night, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm glad I didn't because there were some pretty good episodes on. I'm actually surprised I wasn't up blogging all night, because that's probably what I would normally do. I was being electronic though. I was texting/mobile facebooking KarMa, aka Karyn and Emma. They like good music and dancing like I do, which definitely sounds promising, because so far in my time up here, I haven't found very many people that are into being retarded like me. I don't literally mean like mentally challeged, but like the way the Black Eyed Peas said it, because I think that means more.

So seriously, it was super late. I woke up some time this morning, and don't ask me, because I don't remember. I went to my room and slept a little longer. It felt nice. I woke up and ate reheated Panda Express. I think I'm turning Chinese. I have eaten Chinese food for dinner the past three nights, and reheated it again today. I wish I was fast like lightning with ninja moves, but that just doesn't seem likely.

Christmas is in 12 days, or less than two weeks for people that don't know what math is. Twenty five minus todays date, which is the thirteenth, equals twelve. Twelve divided by seven days, which is the standard length of a week, equals less than two, meaning Christmas is less than two weeks away. I hope all of you are getting ready for Christmas, because now I'm getting excited. It's gonna be a queer old time, I mean gay. It will be a gay (happy) old time!

I was born in the G-code, it's embedded in my blood

Don't you love the Geto Boys? If not, you are probably not supposed to be reading this. Why you trippin, I'm just kidding, keep reading it, you'll be surprised at how much the hood life makes sense. I don't want to say I justify any malicious behavior, because in most cases I don't. But what goes on in the hood is different than what we see every day. By we, I mean anyone that regularly reads this. It's okay, luckily it doesn't matter if your hood, act like you're hood or are legit hood. Who cares. It's snowing, black people don't like the snow, they go inside. I don't blame them. I wish I didn't have to go outside, but if I didn't go outside today, you wouldn't have been able to read this blog today.

That means that the computer at my house is not working. Again. That's okay, I have a library a block away from my house. It's really nice being able to write you all still. I miss writing daily or multiple daily entries. It's okay, nothing huge has been going on. I did work out though, it was fun. I went to the gym for like an hour, and got my fitness on. I love when people look at me silly at the gym. I wasn't even dressed like a dandy, but I pretend like I am and am just off the chain ridiculous like there's a secret party that I'm the only one invited and everyone else was the fat kid that wasn't allowed to go, or something along those lines. Now I'm the fat kid having fun. It's the best. You should be jealous, you weren't invited.

My date last night was AMAZING. Karyn is rad. I don't think she'll read this, but it doesn't matter, cause I've got nothing bad to say about the date. I picked her up and then we went to Twin Dragon. I think I might be in love with Chinese food. I had it for dinner two nights in a row, and finished the leftovers today for lunch a couple hours ago. After that, we watched the brand new episode of NBC's, The Office. It was a great episode. The past two episodes have been the general, just prime television. The best. Once we had finished that up, we did something that I have never been able to do on any other date, ever. We played Goldeneye for N64. I slaughtered her in every round except for the one we played with Licensed to Kill and Slappers Only. She killed me five times on that one, but I still one. After that, the night only got better. We watched Live Free or Die Hard. It was amazing. She's a great cuddler. After that, I was taking her home and we listened to Transatlanticism and probably some other music. I can't really remember ;)

I know when I picked her up, we listened to Cobra Starship, aka the picture at the beginning of this post. Have you checked them out yet? Seriously, check youtube and myspace. Gabe Saporta rocks the house like a champ. I wish they'd release a new CD, but at the same time, I don't mind listening to the two that are already out a lot. Cobra was once responsible for a full on four people dance party. It was mind blowing. You couldn't throw a brick at that. I don't know why you would, or wouldn't, but it doesn't matter. You couldn't do it.

Today is Friday night. It's kind of weird though. I had a date last night. It was awesome. I feel like I should have higher expectations for tonight that last night, but I don't think I could top it, because last night was amazing. It's okay, maybe I'll actually sew something or be productive. Christmas is coming. Hope you were all good boys and girls.

Love,

The Only One

You don't even want to know what I have gone through to write you all today. Too much, but I'll tell you all anyway. If you don't find it interesting, go read the travel blog of someone that wears fanny packs: not because they're fashionable again, but because they never got the memo that the 90s ended 15 years ago. Yeah, I said it.

My computer is very, very strange. It was working very good. Too good, maybe. I've been enjoying modern technology and the comfort of a personal computer for the past few days. It really is nice to sit in a chair you're used to and not have to worry about inconveniencing someone. I'm not gonna lie, I hate using other peoples stuff. Even if they have the coolest software and great recording equipment and a hover craft and a robot that ties your shoes for you. I don't wanna use it. I like my stuff, I like familiarity. That might catch you off guard because I'm always talking about new things or new products. It's not too strange, I just take new things and make them my own. Adapt them and use them how I feel will best serve me. If they don't serve me a purpose, they get tossed aside. It's that simple.

Now back to today, and the fun times I've had with the computer. Every time I log on, the same two windows of porn pop up. It's ridiculous. I just want to check my email, and then porn pops up. It's the first thing! Luckily, I'm pretty good at deleting the window when it pops up, but nonetheless, it's very annoying. After I got that part taken care of, I decided to plug my iPod into the computer to enjoy some tunes while writing this for you. My computer immediately turned off. That's not a good thing...

Then it said iTunes wouldn't playback the songs, so I decided to reinstall it, and now I'm at the place I've been trying to get for a while. The part where I actually write the interesting events.

I didn't get into LDS Business College. It's a bummer, but it's just another obstacle I've got to get over. Maybe I'll go to school here in Spokane, maybe I won't. I don't want to act like I know the future, because I don't. I just want to be able to adapt to whatever is thrown at me. It's tough, but I gotta be tougher.

I'm trying to get ready for Christmas. I found the game my brother wants for Christmas, so that is a relief. I was really worried I wouldn't locate it, but I did, because I'm so keen... and tender? (you can ask me more about that one if you want, it's a good story)

I have a date tonight with the lovely miss Karyn Kearnes. She's pretty cool and likes good music and wants to watch The Office. That is actually what the date is centered around. I'm pretty excited. I haven't been on a legitimate date in a while, and it feels like fun. I'm thinking more Chinese food, but maybe mexican. It's really hard to say what will sound good in three hours, or four. I'm not sure how the roads will be this time of day.

I've also hears rumors of up to eight inches of snow from a forthcoming storm. Does anyone know the truth to this? That's a legit amount, an amount that I will be happy to start a snowball fight with anyone.

Shorty, imma hit it, hit it like I can't miss.

Has it really been six days since we last spoke? That's a very long time, and I wish to apologize to all of you for the space in time that I have put between us. It has been really crazy these past few days, and I have had so much stuff go on, I don't even know where to begin, but as long as I begin somewhere, I know you'll love it.

So Monday was a fun-day. I drove with my mom to Rexburg. We got there around some time in the afternoon. It was actually a pretty good drive. I didn't listen to my iPod at all on Monday, which automatically makes it a weird day, but that's alright, I'm still breathin. I thought I would surprise an old friend Monday night after eating dinner with my brother's family. We had pizza, it was pretty good.

So I called up Trisha, and I was like, "what up, girl?" and cruised to her place. It was alright. When she smiles she looks like a girl from a comic book before they turn into a demon. It's kind of crazy, but it's mostly just the way she puts her makeup on. She's really nice, cause you know, that's important. Anyway, we were making out, like we did two years ago. It was pleasant. I could basically tell it wasn't going anywhere, and by that I mean I had no emotion towards her. She's nice, but when she wants to watch Vh1 shows on primetime, you know something's up. She went to the basement to get her roommate's guitar after I told her I should be going soon. I heard her roommate say she wasn't sure if she trusted anyone else with her guitar. Since I was upstairs, I just put my kicks on and walked out the door without saying a word. Call it what you want, I know it's not orthodox, but then again, what is orthodox these days? Exactly..

After I left her, I went over to Megan Tompkin's Apartment. Megan is the last girl that I had any real feelings for, but that one faded out. We're friends now, and I'm quite alright with that. She's still way cool. She let me in without hesitation. We just talked a little bit and had fun just sitting by each other. Nothing happened! Geez, what kind of boy do you think I am?

You're silly though. And since you asked about her roommate, Suzanne Dunkle, or something like that, I'll tell you. As you know, I was kind of hanging out with Suzanne two years ago. She even asked me to the Sadies Hawkins type dance at BYU-Idaho. That thing just faded into crap. It's cool though. It wasn't meant to be, we didn't make out. Anyway, twice during my visit, Suzanne came out in the kitchen and just stared at me. I'm not gonna say I was afraid or anything, but yeah, I was afraid.

Woke up Tuesday morning and checked my email. I got into UVU. Good news, right? Close.. Tuition for out of staters, way more than it needs to be. This actually started ruining my immune system I think, and my thought process. You got people on welfare that are able-bodied, taking government money, and even worse, you got these bailouts, BAILOUTS! And I'm just a boy looking for an honest education, but can't get the help that way. Oh well, that's how stuff works, isn't it? It's okay. It'll make it feel that much more worth it when I figure out this school stuff.

I think yesterday was Wednesday. I can't really remember. I bought a jacket, some shorts and some sunglasses from Savers. For those of you not in Utah, it's like Goodwill or Salvation Army, but double awesome. And they have cute girls working there too, so if you get bored, you can always flirt with the thrift store beauties. Luckily I didn't get bored. ;)

Well today is Thursday. I can't really say I know that for sure though. The past two nights have been rough. I couldn't get any sleep because I was having digestive problems out of both ends. I know you say you don't wanna read that explicit stuff, but then why you reading? You know who I am. Got some stuff done for my Grandparents today. Got the Christmas decorations out, and then headed out to shop. I went to Walmart and got my first manicure. It was a lot less gay than you'd think. I know, people are still gonna talk, but my hands feel great. After the FABULOUS time, I went to Bajio and picked up some delicacies there. I think I'm allergic to salad, because Bajio gives me no problems, but the past two nights I ate a salad and had a horrible time. Now I'm listening to T.I., but I started out this post listening to Lil' Wayne.

I know I'm not the most hood person you know, but you really think you reminding me of my lack of melanin is gonna stop me from being who I am and acting how I want to? I like hip hop. the way it makes me feel. Not all of it, I gotta be straight on that. I like a variety, but Lil Wayne was good today. Yesterday I needed Kanye, and It was great. Tomorrow, who knows, maybe not even hip hop. Maybe I'll listen to the Darkness. It's really a complete toss up. The only thing I know for sure is that I love you.

Love,

The Only One