This has been a weird night. I think this is the first time I have felt every emotion in one night in a very long time. I mean when was the last time you had something like that? True, sometimes I exaggerate a little bit, but life, man. It happens fast. If I didn't write this down, it would fade away. It's just been super weird though. I don't sound very articulate, I know. It's 2:30 in the morning.. What are you doing? Sleeping. Gimme a break!
Well, since my previous post, I have showered, got dressed, tried my new Dirty English (Juicy Couture for men) pomade. The pomade, by the way, is simply amazing. My hair was elegant tonight. After checking to make sure I had everything on right and in the right place, I went off to the dance. As asked, I got there a half hour early. I don't mind being early, I really don't. But if you're gonna ask me to be early, don't have me there and ignore me. It's kind of rude. That's bitterness.
As the night went on and the dance started happening, the lights went down and the music went up. My stomache was doing something fierce. It started hurting like crazy. Just mind blowing horrible. That's indigestion.
As I was solving the problem of my innards, I started receiving texts from people I knew that were inquiring the status of the dance. They told me they were on their way. They told me they couldn't wait to see me, that they couldn't wait to dance with me. I started to just think, maybe tonight w0n't be such a bad night after all. That's excitement and hope.
I have a friend who is a really swell gal. We met recently, 13 days ago, to be exact. She's pretty neat and her name is Rachel. Anyway, she was at the dance, and she didn't think I would ask her to dance, because some guys are lame. This means that they talk to girls and tell them that they will dance with them, but when it comes time to dance, they don't dance. For the first slow dance chance I had, I found Rachel and asked her to dance. That's building confidence.
After I had danced with Rachel, I was relieved, for now I had discovered I was not lame, and that is a good feeling. I waited around for the next dance. You see, Rachel is a very nice person. She knows I have interest invested in a friend of hers. A friend that may or may not read this. Her name is Rhianna. It's okay, I'm not afraid to say it. It's probably pretty obvious anyway. I don't do too well at hiding my emotions. It's not really my style. Anyway, I had danced with Rhianna, who has the beauty and grace of Audrey Hepburn, and it's simply amazing. If by chance she reads this, I apologize for not telling you that in person. That's shyness and butterflies.
I know butterflies are not an emotion. Get over it, Charlie Brown.
The dance was winding down. I had no set-in-stone plans. That's worry.
I wanted to definitely hang out with people afterwards and possibly get a bite to eat. After all, the last time I had eaten was around two o'clock or ten hours before the dance. I was talking to Jackie, or Jacque (just so she knows I know how to spell it), who was down to hang. I asked Rachel and Rhianna, they were down too, but wanted a larger group. Enter the afterparty. Rachel got people and I got people. Our people got more people. That's sharing.
We got there and had around 20 people or so. I don't want to overestimate this number, but it's probably at least that. I love hanging out with nice people that are down for a good time of just talking and getting to know each other a little more. That's love.
When we were arranging our tables/booths, everyone was trying to figure out where to sit and who they wanted to sit by and all that fun stuff. I thought for sure I had it planned out right, that the seating order would be perfect. But it wasn't. I wanted to sit next to Rhianna, which I know it's not a big deal that I didn't, but still, Rachel knows I like her, or at least like her enough to want to get to know her, and learn about her and all of that good stuff. I'm glad Rachel sat by me, but I wanted to sit by Rhianna (I know, I'm a five year old). That's betrayal.
I love making jokes. Occasionally I make not good jokes, or jokes that cross the line for some people. Upon first sitting down, I said "that's what she said." To which everyone laughed and found it very amusing. Later on in the night, our waiter, Will said something that I thought was perfect. Naturally I repeated the line. This time no one really heard what he said, so they asked me to repeat what he had said. When I did this, Rachel told me to stop being inappropriate. That's shame.
Now I love everyone that was in the group tonight. I know some of them more than others, naturally, some people just fit better than others. After a while, I just felt like no one was listening to me or that no one really cared what I had to say. That they wouldn't notice if I left, which I did. That's feeling unwanted.
I got in my car, dropped Jackie off at her car and headed home. This whole time I have been, and am still, texting Chathum. What a cool guy. He is a great friend who keeps things funny, but also can give really good advice. That along with my music, and everything got better. When I pulled into my usual parking spot in front of my house, I was playing What Became of the Likely Lads by The Libertines. This song is not just amazing, but it has deep meaning for me. I have two really good friends from my past that made this song mean something to me. They made music real. Sometimes it's just the thing to make me feel better. It worked. That's comfort and joy.
Merry Christmas.
Love,
The Only One
What up, What up! I haven't written you in a few days, and I apologize for that. I'm pretty much the cat's pajama's. Almost as cool as Elmo, but I'm really not. Today is black Friday. Such a party, right? Wrong. It's almost a party. Wait for it, wait for it...
