Dwight, get out of my nook!

Oh man, can you believe that tomorrow is officially the last day of 2008? I don't want to get totally retrospective, but I want to clear my mind. This has just been one crazy, crazy year. I started off the year ending a quarter at SFCC with horrible grades, skateboarding all the time, working part time at Taco Time, and just started getting into drinking. I was drunk at a single's dance. I remember it all, or at least most of it. I remember people thought I was crazy, or just straight up didn't like me. It's understandable. I wasn't much back then. I really wasn't. I kissed around ten girls that night, just pecks on the cheek. I actually had one girl that I told her I wasn't going to kiss her, but that I would just give her a new year's eve hug. I lied, and ended up getting slapped. I deserved it I suppose. It's okay, how I was I supposed to know that she was going to get proposed to in three days. Whoops...

On January 22, I began working full time at Downtown Toyota. It didn't take me long to pick up smoking, a lot. It started out as cigarettes, and was that most of the time, and most of the money. I have always been horrible at saving money, but when you're wasting it on cigarettes, it disappears even faster than before. In March, I met a girl online named Mallory Ann, and she stole my pearls. After that, we broke up, and I started drinking more, and doing more stupid stuff. On memorial day, I met a girl named Amber Bakly, who was pretty amazing, and seemed to be a perfect fit for me. We were both trying to correct our mistakes that we had made in the past and trying to be better. Mostly because of my foolish mistakes, it didn't work out. We broke up at 4 in the morning on June 14, the day after the 70s and 80s dance. I made out with a midget the next day because I was on the rebound. I continued to smoke and drink, and started smoking weed. I was a fool, in so many ways.

I kept doing stupid stuff, a lot of it. I went to three family reunions over the course of the summer, and I loved seeing everyone, and it made me want to stop everything and be a better person, but when I came back to Spokane, I just wanted to be bad again. In mid August, I left for my mission, only to come home after 5 days. I had done a lot of bad things, and came home. That was a very sobering moment for me, literally and metaphorically.

I have been clean from everything since August 8th, I stopped counting the days after a hundred, I'm just proud of myself, although I wish I could say I have been clean my whole life. Since I came home, I got a job at a Roofing Supply company, doing data entry. It was a great job, I made ten dollars an hour, and became friends with a few of the guys there. Shortly after the fun began, temp workers started getting the ax. I outlasted seven other guys, which was crazy to me, but I basically did the work that my bosses would have to do if I had not been there, so they kept me as long as they could, which I was okay with. I got laid off on November 11th. One week after Obama took office, but don't worry, I'm not bitter. Other than a one day job I had later that week, I have been unemployed since then. It's been very tough and stressful trying to deal with that.

School has also been a huge challenge. I have wanted to get back into school so bad. My life has felt like it has been in a funk since I got put on academic suspension from BYU-Idaho. It's okay, I earned it, and I'm not bitter about them placing that status on me. I just wish I would have been smarter and not screwed myself over on that. I was set up to go to the following schools in at least one way or another, but they ended up not working: BYU-Idaho; Salt Lake Community College; Utah Valley University, LDS business College; University of Phoenix. Up until yesterday, I was unsure of what the future would hold for me. My Mom, bless her soul, told me to check out the distance learning program they offered from Spokane Falls Community College via the library complex here on Fairchild Air Force Base. After her kind urging, I went over there, ended up coming back home registered for two English classes, a U.S. History class as well as a Microsoft Word class, I'll also sign up to get credit for Institute, putting me somewhere in the region of getting 18 credits or so, I'm very excited and anxious to start. Now as I look into the future, I feel hopeful again instead of worried that something from my past will come back to haunt me. I don't know exactly what is to come of the future, but I feel comfortable with not knowing. I wish you all the best in the new year.

Love,

The Only One

The sun never gets cancelled, or in other words, why would you cancel New Year's Eve?

I'm very, very bitter right now. I have been told they might cancel this whole New Year's Eve dance that I have heard, and been excited about, for a while. To me, this is just ideal. Lots of good people all together in one place, to have a great time. Seems ideal, right?

Wrong.. Apparently. They canceled a dance a few weeks ago that was sounding very amazing. It was gonna basically be amazing, like the cat's pajamas type awesome. That one was hard to believe, but still understandable. I was fed up, but we got two feet of snow two days before, so it makes sense. We have had no new snow today, there is a forecast of light snow for the next few days. There is no logical reason to cancel this. I'm stretching my mind like crazy to find a reason but I cannot. I have whipped out a perfect, edited to radio clean standards, playlist for a dance in less than three days, while having a full time job. Don't tell me things are impossible.

If you can dream it, it is not impossible.

I'm not a motivational speaker, in fact, I think I hate you. Just kidding, you're reading this. I love you. But seriously. You're making me think too hard. I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. I really love hanging out with family, especially when my siblings and families come into town, because they are really good company. But there was nothing going on for the singles, and it feels like forever since there has been anything like that. I needed last night. I found out about it late Friday night. It was a little get together, with word that was poorly spread, obviously, but it was set up to be very fun. We played pool and played rock band as well. I'm only a singer. I cannot play drums, and I'm not too good at fake guitar. The only thing that is real on that is singing, which is why I choose to dominate that aspect of the game. Some people were just lame, just being totally whack when it comes to singing. This one girl was barely letting us know she had vocal chords, I was tripping, like is this girl for real? There was also some broseph that was condescending with his tone when was talking about my shoes. Next time I see him, I'll swiftly tell him to piss off in my mind... again.

Love,

The Only One

I said maybe.. You're gonna be the one that saves me..

"Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me"
----Oasis----

This song just goes in and out of my head sometimes. Don't think I need help or something like that. I don't need you to save me. I'm actually doing pretty well. Today is Christmas day, at least it still is for most of the world, or at least part of it. But you won't read this today. Today was a pretty swell day, and it's only seven o'clock in the Post Meridian time. I'm okay with that. I'll be up for at least 8 hours more. There is a snowball fight scheduled for tonight, and it's the first one I've had in years. I hope my form is good still. I used to be a pretty amazing talent at it, and I'll tell you more about that later on. It's dinner time.

Merry Christmas,

The Only One

Just Dance

Go figure. As one important person leaves your life, someone else will step in. I don't know exactly what the impact of the two opposing events will be, but I know that I'm ready for whatever happens. I'm currently listening to Weezer's Christmas album. It's only got a few songs, but this is the perfect year for something like this. At a time when major Artists and Groups protest most things I hold sacred and dear, you have Weezer coming out with a beautiful take on classic Christmas songs. I really think they did a great job with it to. Well done, boys.

Tonight I received a text from Amanda Lynn Sever tonight saying "Will you stop texting me." Before I got this, I had asked her if she had gotten any snow over in Illinois yet. I guess that's me being too intrusive. This would have probably hurt and offended me, had I not been already numb from anything Amanda could do to me. We have a long history. Three years ago, our personalities became intertwined. We became best friends, and I don't mean it like when most people say stuff like, "Oh my gosh! We used to be, like, best friends ever, like totally BFF's." We really were best friends. I still have all of her letters she sent me. I still have the sweatshirt she made me for my 18th birthday. I still have a shirt she made me. I still have a button she gave me, her favorite button. I still remember every single word we ever said to each other. Looking back, I think she has caused me enough love and pain for three lifetimes. I want to let it be known, I still believe she has the potential to be great for future friendships with other people. I can't bear to go through whatever she trys to put me through again. I can't, I won't.

I don't want to dwell much on this. Because it's the past. I will gladly answer any questions at your request, but on my own free will, I don't wanna write about it right now. Maybe later.

Have you heard of Lady GaGa? She is mind blowing. I love her. She's got the blondest hair I have ever loved. I saw her on the today show on Monday morning I think. She was showing Kathy Lee Gifford, formerly of Regis and Kathy Lee fame, and some mexican lady how to dance. Like I was paying attention to those two! Lady Gaga steals the show, I mean making it so hot it's stolen, Imma drop a line, make a scene like Gary Coleman.

I started listening to her whole CD, The Fame, as well as reading her profile on Wikipedia. She's just mind blowing. The things that surprised me the most were not her current status, but her past. She got her stage name from a Queen song you may have heard, Radio GaGa. Also, you know that little lightning bolt under her eye in the video for Just Dance? Yep, she likes David Bowie, just like me.

As one important figure purposely drops you out of their life, don't feel too down. A pop star is always waiting to join your life story. Thank you, Lady GaGa. Thank you.

Love,

The Only One

Oh my gosh, the snow is almost up to his wiener!

Don't you just love snow? Like it's totally boss, and totally everything so rad just like that. I love to play in the snow. I love to look at the snow. I love to dance in the snow. I love to watch people slip and fall in the snow. I hate.. driving in the snow.

I spent the past few days in Kennewick, Washington at Jackie (burkhardt) ->onassis<- Barnes house. It was awesome. The night before I went down there was awesome too, just ask Karma. Seriously, ask them, Karyn Kearnes and Emma Taylor. They're pretty neat. But they already know how I feel. Besides, we're talking about Kennewick now, right?

Right.

We got there sometime close to the time school got out. All the kids got there about the same time we did. It was a lot of fun. Everyone was there! I rode down with Andrew, Alex and Courtney. Kevin lives there, and so does Jackie. Also Sam, Taylor and Kat were there. I met Sherri, Paul and Sarah, too, and some of the neighbor kids. Jackie's house seems to be the cool cool happy fun house. I'm cool with that. I always want to be in the fun zone. It was fun the whole time pretty much. We got there and Sherri made us some Turkey noodle soup. It was delectable. After that, we played Rock Band for a few hours, and I rocked the vocals. Everyone said I was awesome, even though the mic was broken and screwed up my points. I was still entertainment. Besides, look at Thin Lizzy. They were amazing, and got virtually no love from the critics.

After that, we watched Drop Dead Gorgeous. That is a weird movie, but it's pretty awesome. I really enjoyed it, even though a certain Brittany Hill was lame and was only talking to me in text form during the movie, oh, and the whole time I was there. We didn't talk once in person. Our eyes locked once and we waved at each other. It's kind of weird when you talk to someone in text form and have all this totally awesome and fun stuff planned out, and then when it comes time to show up, she decides to shut up. Like I'm something that's not worth attention. I'm sorry, but if I want hot 'n' cold, I'll listen to Katy Perry, I don't need to deal with that in real life from another beautiful girl. Like it matters, she won't read this either, she won't change. I don't care that only bothers me for a little bit. Besides, we were having a blast, that is me and the people I actually went to see. That night we went to Red Robin, and I flirted with our waitress. She was a good flirt, but turned down my invitation to come back to the hot tub. It's a-okay though. She was nice about it. After that, we or course went to the hot tub, and it was awesome. I got a foot massage. It was decent, at least enough to loosen my feet slightly.

Fast forward a couple half hours. There was a massage party going. It included Sam, Kevin, Sarah and I. I can't remember exactly, but I think I massaged all of them, and a couple of them massaged me. Either way, I slept like 12 hours. So long!

Next day we just woke up and watched videos on youtube and read things on wikihow. That site is crazy, you should check it out if you ever wanna learn stuff in a really funny way. They teach you how to give and hide hickeys. We laughed at that one for a little bit. After that, we went to a Chinese buffet, followed by Value Village. I got a brown V-neck button up sweater. It's pretty dope, as you can see..

A short while later, we went up to Fairchild Cinema, or whatever Kevin's family calls it. Either way, it's an awesome theater. We saw Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. I rather enjoyed it, it was romantic and awkward comedy rolled into one, and I think they did a pretty good job putting it together. And it had Tim McGraw!

We ended up in the hot tub again last night. We told ghost stories and creepy stuff like that. I actually just remembered that I forgot to tell them my true story that occurred earlier this year, but I think they'll forgive me, because I'm sure I'll hang out with them again, because they are all pretty neat. We were watching more videos on YouTube, especially in the realm of live tv accidents. There are some pretty good clips. Out of nowhere, they ordered some pizza, one of which was a chicken pizza. It totally restored my broken faith in the Pizza Mia pizzas. I must have eaten half of that pizza, and it was so good. After that, we watched the episode of The Office where Michael goes to Canada, and then watched The Longest Yard, aka the second Adam Sandler football movie. I got tired of cuddling with Jackie on the love seat, so I turned around and pushed her off. She says I was asleep, I say she is retarded, but it's all good.

This morning I decided to wake up at 8. I wasn't dissapointed, because I don't really need all that much sleep for myself. I know it's supposed to be healthy, but look at me, I think I'm doing pretty good for myself. I tried to eat a pancake, with syrup, without a plate, but Sherri caught me, and put a plate under me. I wasn't really too sad, because I was also handed a glass of Sunny D. One thing people should know about me, assuming you all don't already know this, is that I love Sunny D. I rarely drink it, because I always forget how good it is until I drink it. After that, we just watched fat people falling and good stuff like that on YouTube and got ready to leave for the day. I didn't really wanna go home today. I like it in Kennewick, but I know I had to come home. I just wish it didn't have to be so soon. I'm happy I made it home safe though, because the roads were horrible, and they're getting worse.. No matter how much I complain, and how much shit I talk about people, I really do worry and care for all of you, even if I talk down about you on here, I still care for you. I want everyone to travel safe, and I want everyone to be happy, and have a Merry Christmas.

Love,

The Only One

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Have you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking? Yeah, me neither. There's just something about knowing that you look good that makes you wanna look good forever. I know I'm not exactly your Fabio or whatever dream guy you have in mind, but picture this: I got soul, too.

Last night I think I was up late. I was watching Nick at Nite most of the time, and it was pretty good fun. I normally change the channel when Family Matters comes on, but last night, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm glad I didn't because there were some pretty good episodes on. I'm actually surprised I wasn't up blogging all night, because that's probably what I would normally do. I was being electronic though. I was texting/mobile facebooking KarMa, aka Karyn and Emma. They like good music and dancing like I do, which definitely sounds promising, because so far in my time up here, I haven't found very many people that are into being retarded like me. I don't literally mean like mentally challeged, but like the way the Black Eyed Peas said it, because I think that means more.

So seriously, it was super late. I woke up some time this morning, and don't ask me, because I don't remember. I went to my room and slept a little longer. It felt nice. I woke up and ate reheated Panda Express. I think I'm turning Chinese. I have eaten Chinese food for dinner the past three nights, and reheated it again today. I wish I was fast like lightning with ninja moves, but that just doesn't seem likely.

Christmas is in 12 days, or less than two weeks for people that don't know what math is. Twenty five minus todays date, which is the thirteenth, equals twelve. Twelve divided by seven days, which is the standard length of a week, equals less than two, meaning Christmas is less than two weeks away. I hope all of you are getting ready for Christmas, because now I'm getting excited. It's gonna be a queer old time, I mean gay. It will be a gay (happy) old time!

I was born in the G-code, it's embedded in my blood

Don't you love the Geto Boys? If not, you are probably not supposed to be reading this. Why you trippin, I'm just kidding, keep reading it, you'll be surprised at how much the hood life makes sense. I don't want to say I justify any malicious behavior, because in most cases I don't. But what goes on in the hood is different than what we see every day. By we, I mean anyone that regularly reads this. It's okay, luckily it doesn't matter if your hood, act like you're hood or are legit hood. Who cares. It's snowing, black people don't like the snow, they go inside. I don't blame them. I wish I didn't have to go outside, but if I didn't go outside today, you wouldn't have been able to read this blog today.

That means that the computer at my house is not working. Again. That's okay, I have a library a block away from my house. It's really nice being able to write you all still. I miss writing daily or multiple daily entries. It's okay, nothing huge has been going on. I did work out though, it was fun. I went to the gym for like an hour, and got my fitness on. I love when people look at me silly at the gym. I wasn't even dressed like a dandy, but I pretend like I am and am just off the chain ridiculous like there's a secret party that I'm the only one invited and everyone else was the fat kid that wasn't allowed to go, or something along those lines. Now I'm the fat kid having fun. It's the best. You should be jealous, you weren't invited.

My date last night was AMAZING. Karyn is rad. I don't think she'll read this, but it doesn't matter, cause I've got nothing bad to say about the date. I picked her up and then we went to Twin Dragon. I think I might be in love with Chinese food. I had it for dinner two nights in a row, and finished the leftovers today for lunch a couple hours ago. After that, we watched the brand new episode of NBC's, The Office. It was a great episode. The past two episodes have been the general, just prime television. The best. Once we had finished that up, we did something that I have never been able to do on any other date, ever. We played Goldeneye for N64. I slaughtered her in every round except for the one we played with Licensed to Kill and Slappers Only. She killed me five times on that one, but I still one. After that, the night only got better. We watched Live Free or Die Hard. It was amazing. She's a great cuddler. After that, I was taking her home and we listened to Transatlanticism and probably some other music. I can't really remember ;)

I know when I picked her up, we listened to Cobra Starship, aka the picture at the beginning of this post. Have you checked them out yet? Seriously, check youtube and myspace. Gabe Saporta rocks the house like a champ. I wish they'd release a new CD, but at the same time, I don't mind listening to the two that are already out a lot. Cobra was once responsible for a full on four people dance party. It was mind blowing. You couldn't throw a brick at that. I don't know why you would, or wouldn't, but it doesn't matter. You couldn't do it.

Today is Friday night. It's kind of weird though. I had a date last night. It was awesome. I feel like I should have higher expectations for tonight that last night, but I don't think I could top it, because last night was amazing. It's okay, maybe I'll actually sew something or be productive. Christmas is coming. Hope you were all good boys and girls.

Love,

The Only One

You don't even want to know what I have gone through to write you all today. Too much, but I'll tell you all anyway. If you don't find it interesting, go read the travel blog of someone that wears fanny packs: not because they're fashionable again, but because they never got the memo that the 90s ended 15 years ago. Yeah, I said it.

My computer is very, very strange. It was working very good. Too good, maybe. I've been enjoying modern technology and the comfort of a personal computer for the past few days. It really is nice to sit in a chair you're used to and not have to worry about inconveniencing someone. I'm not gonna lie, I hate using other peoples stuff. Even if they have the coolest software and great recording equipment and a hover craft and a robot that ties your shoes for you. I don't wanna use it. I like my stuff, I like familiarity. That might catch you off guard because I'm always talking about new things or new products. It's not too strange, I just take new things and make them my own. Adapt them and use them how I feel will best serve me. If they don't serve me a purpose, they get tossed aside. It's that simple.

Now back to today, and the fun times I've had with the computer. Every time I log on, the same two windows of porn pop up. It's ridiculous. I just want to check my email, and then porn pops up. It's the first thing! Luckily, I'm pretty good at deleting the window when it pops up, but nonetheless, it's very annoying. After I got that part taken care of, I decided to plug my iPod into the computer to enjoy some tunes while writing this for you. My computer immediately turned off. That's not a good thing...

Then it said iTunes wouldn't playback the songs, so I decided to reinstall it, and now I'm at the place I've been trying to get for a while. The part where I actually write the interesting events.

I didn't get into LDS Business College. It's a bummer, but it's just another obstacle I've got to get over. Maybe I'll go to school here in Spokane, maybe I won't. I don't want to act like I know the future, because I don't. I just want to be able to adapt to whatever is thrown at me. It's tough, but I gotta be tougher.

I'm trying to get ready for Christmas. I found the game my brother wants for Christmas, so that is a relief. I was really worried I wouldn't locate it, but I did, because I'm so keen... and tender? (you can ask me more about that one if you want, it's a good story)

I have a date tonight with the lovely miss Karyn Kearnes. She's pretty cool and likes good music and wants to watch The Office. That is actually what the date is centered around. I'm pretty excited. I haven't been on a legitimate date in a while, and it feels like fun. I'm thinking more Chinese food, but maybe mexican. It's really hard to say what will sound good in three hours, or four. I'm not sure how the roads will be this time of day.

I've also hears rumors of up to eight inches of snow from a forthcoming storm. Does anyone know the truth to this? That's a legit amount, an amount that I will be happy to start a snowball fight with anyone.

Shorty, imma hit it, hit it like I can't miss.

Has it really been six days since we last spoke? That's a very long time, and I wish to apologize to all of you for the space in time that I have put between us. It has been really crazy these past few days, and I have had so much stuff go on, I don't even know where to begin, but as long as I begin somewhere, I know you'll love it.

So Monday was a fun-day. I drove with my mom to Rexburg. We got there around some time in the afternoon. It was actually a pretty good drive. I didn't listen to my iPod at all on Monday, which automatically makes it a weird day, but that's alright, I'm still breathin. I thought I would surprise an old friend Monday night after eating dinner with my brother's family. We had pizza, it was pretty good.

So I called up Trisha, and I was like, "what up, girl?" and cruised to her place. It was alright. When she smiles she looks like a girl from a comic book before they turn into a demon. It's kind of crazy, but it's mostly just the way she puts her makeup on. She's really nice, cause you know, that's important. Anyway, we were making out, like we did two years ago. It was pleasant. I could basically tell it wasn't going anywhere, and by that I mean I had no emotion towards her. She's nice, but when she wants to watch Vh1 shows on primetime, you know something's up. She went to the basement to get her roommate's guitar after I told her I should be going soon. I heard her roommate say she wasn't sure if she trusted anyone else with her guitar. Since I was upstairs, I just put my kicks on and walked out the door without saying a word. Call it what you want, I know it's not orthodox, but then again, what is orthodox these days? Exactly..

After I left her, I went over to Megan Tompkin's Apartment. Megan is the last girl that I had any real feelings for, but that one faded out. We're friends now, and I'm quite alright with that. She's still way cool. She let me in without hesitation. We just talked a little bit and had fun just sitting by each other. Nothing happened! Geez, what kind of boy do you think I am?

You're silly though. And since you asked about her roommate, Suzanne Dunkle, or something like that, I'll tell you. As you know, I was kind of hanging out with Suzanne two years ago. She even asked me to the Sadies Hawkins type dance at BYU-Idaho. That thing just faded into crap. It's cool though. It wasn't meant to be, we didn't make out. Anyway, twice during my visit, Suzanne came out in the kitchen and just stared at me. I'm not gonna say I was afraid or anything, but yeah, I was afraid.

Woke up Tuesday morning and checked my email. I got into UVU. Good news, right? Close.. Tuition for out of staters, way more than it needs to be. This actually started ruining my immune system I think, and my thought process. You got people on welfare that are able-bodied, taking government money, and even worse, you got these bailouts, BAILOUTS! And I'm just a boy looking for an honest education, but can't get the help that way. Oh well, that's how stuff works, isn't it? It's okay. It'll make it feel that much more worth it when I figure out this school stuff.

I think yesterday was Wednesday. I can't really remember. I bought a jacket, some shorts and some sunglasses from Savers. For those of you not in Utah, it's like Goodwill or Salvation Army, but double awesome. And they have cute girls working there too, so if you get bored, you can always flirt with the thrift store beauties. Luckily I didn't get bored. ;)

Well today is Thursday. I can't really say I know that for sure though. The past two nights have been rough. I couldn't get any sleep because I was having digestive problems out of both ends. I know you say you don't wanna read that explicit stuff, but then why you reading? You know who I am. Got some stuff done for my Grandparents today. Got the Christmas decorations out, and then headed out to shop. I went to Walmart and got my first manicure. It was a lot less gay than you'd think. I know, people are still gonna talk, but my hands feel great. After the FABULOUS time, I went to Bajio and picked up some delicacies there. I think I'm allergic to salad, because Bajio gives me no problems, but the past two nights I ate a salad and had a horrible time. Now I'm listening to T.I., but I started out this post listening to Lil' Wayne.

I know I'm not the most hood person you know, but you really think you reminding me of my lack of melanin is gonna stop me from being who I am and acting how I want to? I like hip hop. the way it makes me feel. Not all of it, I gotta be straight on that. I like a variety, but Lil Wayne was good today. Yesterday I needed Kanye, and It was great. Tomorrow, who knows, maybe not even hip hop. Maybe I'll listen to the Darkness. It's really a complete toss up. The only thing I know for sure is that I love you.

Love,

The Only One

Wow, man. WOW...

What up, What up! I haven't written you in a few days, and I apologize for that. I'm pretty much the cat's pajama's. Almost as cool as Elmo, but I'm really not. Today is black Friday. Such a party, right? Wrong. It's almost a party. Wait for it, wait for it...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH!

I'm just a young holler maker, and you should be ready to dance because I'm so dope boy fresh. I'm a dancer not a breaker, and you should check it like this is for real and not a test. I'll twist my brain left like a salt shaker, make it right like the ocean sways and you make a sun set.

Sorry, I can't really rhyme. In my mind it all worked. Good luck reading it!

Well, I'm going down south where I belong!

I know, I know. A really crappy version of the Ramones, "California Sun." And yes, I also know that they didn't really come up with that song, but you know what, there version of that song is why I fell in love with them. The raw energy of DeeDee Ramone screaming, "1,2,3,4!" before they get things started makes me wanna pick up a bass guitar again. Then I realize I don't really want to play bass. I know they get all the chicks, but has anyone seen a bass player lately? DeeDee is dead, and no one has the same energy as him. Either they stand there on stage stiff like a tree, or they do that stupid kick thing and have a stand up seizure. It's pretty ridiculous, and I'm just not really antsy to watch anyone perform like that. I Woke up yesterday I believe it was and was listening to the today show over my radio. The All American Rejects were playing, so I ran to the television to watch.

The lead singer plays bass. I did not realize that for some reason. It's not really a big deal, it doesn't alter my life very much, but it just threw me off guard. Their new song is really amazing. It's gonna give someone hell, that's for sure. Sorry, my puns are so last year.

I just finished applying online for UVU, formerly UVSC. There is a missionary up here that is pretty stoked on that place. It's also in Utah, which I'm loving. Don't get me wrong, I love people up here in Spokane. In fact, I'm pretty sure I meet someone amazing every week up here. Not every day, I'm not hallucinating or anything. I could go out of my way to meet someone special every day, but I'm just worried if I let myself wander that much. I think I could fall in love with my clone.

That's what happens when I let my mind wander. I'm not a professor or cool, not even close. Although last night I did watch Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. If that doesn't warm your heart, I don't know what will. Yesterday was totally stressful, and although I blame myself, I know I'm the only person who could fix it. In my mind I thought I could just smoke a cigarette or something, because six months ago, that is what I did. All the time.

I'm proud to say that I have been clean from everything for 109 days now. I'm also proud that I'm an american. It's just the american goodness to want to help people out. True, I have found myself very stressed looking for a job, but still, when I am downtown and see people begging for single dollar bills, I can't help but reach out and give them a couple. I know it won't go far, and most people think that they will just spend that money on liquor. I'll be honest. I have been given much in this life. Most importantly I have a family that loves me, and I can't even begin to try to put a price tag on that. But I also have been given talents and friends and just many, many more things that I can't even begin to list.

I picked up few applications today after faxing a resume, checking in with my six, count 'em, six temp agencies, and driving out to the valley just to find out the two positions have been filled at the same place. Filled last week, but still needed to be put in the newspaper this week. Hey, it's all good. Chinese food cheers me up. Thanks, Ming Wah. Seriously, go there, now. Back to the applications I acquired though... Pizza Hut, Pizza Pipeline and of course, Movie Gallery. Now, truth be told, I barely eat pizza, but I drive a lot, and I would hopefully snag a driver position. But I think everyone on planet earth knows that I have put no time or effort in a video store in over two years. I just think that is one industry that is becoming more and more obsolete. At least in my world it's already with the dinosaurs, unless of course they decide to pay me. Then I'll love them and they'll be the coolest new thing!

Now it's time to explain that picture up top. You've probably stopped reading this by now, and if not, then you're probably one of my BFF's or something, or maybe you're the coolest guy workign at my bank (Shout out to Bryce Hartford [or something like Hartford]). I found out he likes my blog, so hopefully he reads this whole entry. I don't think it will earn me any free coin from the bank, but then again, that would be stealing, and I'm not down for that ;)

Round two for my attempt at the picture. It's obviously me and a girl playing Twister. Thank you, Capt. Obvious. In high school, Bryan Ryan started the Twister Club, it was easily the most exclusive and most popular club in the whole school of over 2,000 students. This particular night was about two and half weeks ago, maybe just a week and a half ago, I can't really remember. Regardless, it was a surprise party for my friend Cari. She's pretty amazing, and I kind of used to be in love with her, but I've since lost all hope on that one, and she's happily in love with a cool guy named John. Some times, she accidentally calls him Joe, and once she called him Jo-Jo. That one made me smile, but only for a few seconds. I don't dwell on impossibilities.

Now for a little nighttime prediction.. I'm supposed to hang out with the lovely Megan Nicole Tompkins, but she isn't the best person at returning phone calls. I'm not going to totally rule it out, but it is legitimately a quarter to five, in the P.M. sense of things. As much as I would love to see her, she probably won't call, and I'm a ok with that. I'll be living in Utah soon enough, and if she wants to visit, I'll only be one state away, kind of like right now. I'm stressed with girls in this state. They want too much too fast, they won't be honest about their feelings or they will straight up just play games. Quit playin' games with my heart! My Heart!

Sorry about that.

Love,

The Only One

(Who are the) Mystery Girls?

Cause I wanna know! Hey everyone. Just sending a good morning blog. To be completely and utterly honest, I have no idea what time it is. I know I type a lot louder than anyone else in the computer lab right now, but there is some absolutely beautiful person sitting next to me that smiled at me when she walked in, and I wish she would just read this so there wouldn't be any awkwardness between us, but hey, whatcha gon do, man?

So seriously. This is america, and it's not the 90s anymore, I should be able to just look a girl in the face and tell her that I think she is absolutely adorable, right? Wrong. Apparently I'm just thinking too far in the future, but that's all I ever do. I should probably focus on what life has thrown at me right now. I mean, it's pretty incredible stuff. I'm not even trying to use my home computer cause there is a virus or something, but all I can think about is will I be able to talk to the girl that is sitting next to me, and if my stupid stomache will shut up. All it does is make noise. I had a theory once that it only goes crazy if I'm sitting next to a beautiful girl. Then it went off next to an uggo...

So I decided that I was tired of annoying people with that argument, especially because I didn't beleive in it. I'm so dope boy fresh right now, Jay-Z wouldn't know what a swagger dagger was unless I stabbed him in the heart, but I wouldn't do that. I'm down for the Jigga man, even if he was hating on Kanye for a long time. You know what, Kanye has conquered the pop scene in like how many years? Not too many. And look at what he's got. I've still got hope, I'm not worried about changing the world, I just want to make some people smile, and I'm already doing that. It's kind of my thing.

The picture I used for today probably caught most of you off guard, and I hope it did. I like to make people fall in love with what I know. I love the New York Dolls. They have amazing music. My favorite album is Too Much Too Soon. It's got the best song in the world, it's such a task finding it anywhere, but I'm okay with that, it just makes it more worth it to find.

Also, you gotta have love for Mr. Johnny Thunders. Dude is crazy! His solo stuff is also so amazing, but the flamboyancy of the New York Dolls was the climax for me. He's dead now, go figure. Most of the good ones are dead. But I ain't dead, I ain't sleepin with the fishes. So how do you like that?

I want to come up with a fresh design for a screen, but I'm at the library, I don't exactly know what to come up with. I had a design that I came up with last weekend, but I kind of hate it. A lot. I thought it would be okay, that I would just think of something else super easily, afterall, I'm super creative? Notice the question mark. There isn't only a recession of the stock market. There is a recession of thought process. My brain isn't spittin out the best ideas. It's just running on auto pilot. I can't think of anyway to avoid this, but I try to anyway. I'm off to come up with something brand new, because this is America, where we root for the underdog, where we cheer creativity, where we love freedom. Thank a veteran today, give someone a hug, just smile at a stranger...

Love,

The Only One

Sometimes I'm just too hot to handle

That's why I won't be including a pic for this entry. That and the fact that I am currently at the library. My computer at home is not cooperating so I thought I'd be totally boss and walk to the library. I don't exercise much, so walking a few blocks to the library is probably a good thing for me to do. HURRAY FITNESS!

Syke! I'm just fat. I'll go to the gym later, but I just ate so I don't want to work out yet. Man, today has been a stress bomb. I applied to a couple of jobs online. One of them was another trap for University of Phoenix. Way cool guys, trick people, that'll make 'em happy! Not. Seriously, if I get another call that is from Las Vegas, and it isn't Rachael Susan James, I might freak out. She's in Israel right now, so I don't think I'll even hear from her in a while. It's okay though, she's amazing. Tom says I should just watch Step Brothers again, laughing will take the stress away. He's probably right, but I just watched it last night, so I think I'll just not do that again tonight. I just want to do something creative. I find that when I am on the computer I tend to be more progressive. I don't wanna say that all of this blogging is progressive, but I will say one thing, it isn't making me any dumber, and I can appreciate that.

People, people, people. I love almost all of you, I really do. But sometimes you fools gotta shut up. Too much talking gonna drive me up the wall. Like seriously? I hang out with the people I want to hang out with all the time. If i don't hang out with someone for a while, and they've been there all along, it probably won't become a habit. Like last night, I hung out with Jackie and Kevin. I hang out with them all the time because they are amazing people and I love them to death. They made me not crazy when I got sent home from my mission. True, I have other good friends that I hang out with from church, but they are the main reason I haven't lost my mind yet. They know about me and they don't talk crap about me. They make fun of me to my face, which is what I think real friendship should be.

You don't tease people you hate. You embarrass them in large groups. Duh!

But last night, I hung out with a girl that I haven't hung out with in a super long time. I'm not gonna say it was a pity hangout, but she tends to get a little awkward sometimes, like beyond my capacity of awkward. She's nice enough, but let's just say I wish she wouldn't say some of the things that she says. She said there was a for sure position as a teller at her bank, so I go to apply yesterday. I hear back from her today saying her boss decided not to hire someone else afterall. Awesome.

I applied a couple places online, like I said earlier. I went downtown to the mall to pick up applications. Guess no one is hiring there either. I came back home and filled out an application at the Verizon store, didn't even ask if they were hiring, just filled out the app. Went to Walmart, applied for a job there. Figure, you know, Clayjun works at one, I want to work at one too. After that, I went to Taco Bell. They aren't hiring. Super Duper.

Came back home, I'm literally losing my mind. I tried to take a nap cause I felt tired. I couldn't sleep. I took a bath. I guess the water wasn't hot enough, because it didn't help a whole bunch. That's okay. Jackie and Chathum text me encouragingly and make me feel better. I think I want to go to a sauna or something refreshing like that.

I feel like writing a poem, but I'm at the library, and I don't think I could come up with anything that would make you smile or change the world for the better right now. I'm just not really inspired to write greatness right now. It's this weird thing called Lonely Tuesday Night Syndrome. Ok, I made LTNS up, but you gotta give me credit, i'm super bored and lonely. It's Tuesday night, Thanksgiving is in two days. I guess I'm stoked on that, but I'm still so bored. If I had a job and knew for sure what was going on with school in January I'd be jammin. Maybe soon enough. You'll be one of the first to know!

Love,

The Only One

This is the worse day in a while.

This is not a good day for me. It really isn't great at all. I have been looking for a job for two weeks now. I was let go by a company that promised me the best. A company that I worked hard day in and day out for. Temp to hire is supposed to mean they will hire you. At least have the decency to warn me about letting me go. Don't just leave me in the dust cause corporate told you I'm the plague.

I'm positively convinced that I'm more negative than I should be about this matter. How am I supposed to feel? I'm really asking this question. I've been doing all the right things. I call my agencies every two days. I check the newspaper everyday. I look for a job every day. I keep my appearance well kept. I have a positive attitude and a smile everywhere I go. I put time and effort into what I do.

I've been trying to think of other ways to make money, but nothing comes to mind. No one wants to buy anything in a recession. I don't think my shirts will sell as much as I want them too. My music is perpetually out of tune. I'm not typically a Debbie Downer, but this is weighing heavy on me. I just want to make good honest money. I don't want to pawn away everything I own to feel like I'm making money.

I should be happy and stuff because Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is in a month. True, I have many things to be thankful, I don't want to minimize that. I am very grateful for all that I have. I'm just very stressed at this point. Even Jackie could tell I was stressed. Apparently my back is super tense. I'd believe it. I can't sleep and I can't stay awake. We didn't get a newspaper today.

Doin' the things that we want to

It's more than just a Lou Reed song from 1984, but you should check that out anyway. I know you won't but I'd like to think I have an influence, not control, over some people. I like at least a little bit of everything, and a lot of many things, doesn't mean you have to or even will. hey, do the things you want to.

I want to find a job. I'll do the thing I want to. I've applied to the six agencies. I've been searching for jobs I'm qualified for daily. It's crazy. I just need to find an employer that wants a good worker. Then they can do the thing they want to by hiring me. I'm trying to get a job at a bank, it'll be nice because it's close, and most of all, I would be able to work with a friend. She's way cool, but sometimes is a little hectic. Sound familiar? Good.

It's a little past noon, quite close to 12:30 to be honest. It's almost lunch time, and I skipped breakfast, so I should probably make a point of eating lunch. Not that it matters, but I have no idea what to eat. I know I want to make a new shirt today. That'll be neat. I'll put up a pic of the shirt once it is made.

Love,

The Only One

Bout the baddest girl I ever seen.

I know, I know. I look awesome. Get over it. Seriously.

Okay, so farewell to you (No-Shave) November. You were fun while you lasted, but you know what, I'm tired of looking like a 17 year old with something to prove. Also I tried to fix it all by shaving most of it, but leaving the chin strap. But you know what? It made my face look fat. I'm not cool with that.

Darn you, facial hair. If I knew the price of beauty included shaving my face, I would probably have signed up sooner. I seriously look so much better like this. True, I don't look as tough, but you know what, girls like it. Unless I can grow facial hair thick, and have it look awesome, I'll just look stupid or homeless, usually both. But isn't that how things work anyway? Legitimately, I'm probably worrying about the wrong things. Thanksgiving is this week. I'm thankful I have such an awesome family. Seriously, I can't even explain it. I admit that I complain that I'm 20 and live at home, but you know what, it's a serious blessing. I'm home because of my own doing. I have money in the bank. I could move out tomorrow if I wanted, but you can't put a price tag on the support system I have here. I love my family so much. I got to talk to my brother, John, who is currently deployed in Ramadi, Iraq. I haven't heard from him in a long time, and it was really nice to hear from him. He might even read this! He better, I gave him the link, lol.

As 37 percent of you know, there was a special two hour event tonight of 24, entitled, "Redemption." Pretty good stuff. My parents were patient in waiting for me to get it. See, we love hanging out as a family and watching some television shows, but we all hate commercials. With a few strings pulled, and some handicraft, I Acquired the episode and we got to enjoy it together in real time, with no commercials.

Afterward, I called up an old friend that I have been texting lately, but have not shared vocal communication in two years. The last time we spoke was a night I made out with her. Very classy, I know. She's a really great person, and I felt bad for how I had been before. I'm not saying I'm rekindling anything with her, but it was nice to talk to someone that at least knew me a while ago and wants to talk now. We talked for like an hour to an hour and a half. I don't want to put anything on the people I have met recently, because they are awesome. Jackie, you're awesome. Kevin, you're awesome. Lauren, you're awesome. Chathum, oh buddy, Chathum, you are amazing. Mitch, you know you're awesome. There are others, but you know what, I think lots of people are awesome. What I write here will not affect how I feel about you in person, and it if you read this and I didn't mention you, don't let it affect how you feel about me in person. Middle school is over.

Love,

The Only One

You looked smashing in your 4th grade picture...

Here in our little home. Rocky Votolato. Some guy with a guitar. I don't know him very much, or at all for that matter. BFD. He's a musician like me. Only difference is that he has a song that has touched the hearts of many. Maybe you have heard "Suicide Medicine." It's a song I discovered in the summer of 2006 from a girl I loved at the time. She was a good girl. She was capable of good solid love. She could have been something special, alas, she is not. Casie James, I will never love you again. You had me. I was under a spell, and you put me there. My first semester of college, in the summer, I spent many nights talking to you on the phone late at night. I fell asleep in the closet in my bedroom talking on the phone to you. That was a tough one to explain to my roommate, Juanzilla. What a weird one. He was nice though.

Back to you though, Casie James. I remember the night like I remember last night. We had watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in my apartment with one of my roommates and his now wife. I went to the kitchen to get some water, you surprised me by grabbing my love handles, followed by wrapping your arms around my stomache and pulling me close. That's when I thought everything would work out. That night, while walking you home, I had in my mind that I would finally kiss you at your apartment upon accompanying you safely back. You decided to break the news. You were still in love with your ex, Jordan. The one who cheated on you. The one that threatened me, THREATENED ME, after I told him he should treat you better. You haven't changed. The world has matured, we have all grown up. So why are you still the same?

Okay, I have banked this whole entry on a song that brought me back to a time where I met someone I had loved. The song is amazing. He has become famous for the words he sang in a song, which lasted no more than a few minutes. If I am ever known by half the amount of people that know him, I'll consider myself famous.

I know I am loved, and that is what matters. I just think about things a lot.

I was at my cousin's wedding last month, and she is an amazing cousin. Her family is really cool, and I absolutely love them. They got married on a boat in Lake Chelan, they were married by her brother, Kevin. It was a nice ceremony and there were friends and family there, and it was very sincere, I'm very happy for them. After the ceremony, which didn't last long, everyone rushed to the alcohol, or went to the open area upstairs to smoke. Both of those are two of my past addictions. Especially smoking. I struggled for a minute to just say no. I kept calling a lot of my friends, just hoping that someone would answer the phone, anyone at all. No one answered. I was alone, or was I? With a little prayer, I felt better. I went to the farthest away from smoke area upstairs, leaned on the railing looking at the open water, just smiled, and felt a tear run down my face.

I realized I was meant for more than this.

I don't want to sound like a pompous ass. I probably do most of the time anyway. There are a lot of people that are famous for ridiculous reasons. We as a society thrive off of idiocracy, off of things that are crass and just down right wrong. I'm not saying I should be famous, but I want to be famous, and I want to be famous for the right reasons. The things that spur this ridiculousness from me are so random, it could make a grown man cry. Good thing I'm still growing...

A5, with the combo chow mein.

Well, Ming Wah gets an A+...

;)

OMG!! it's Jackie Chan!

Good day, everyone. It's almost one o'clock on the twenty-second of November. What a beautiful day! Have you seen "today" today?

Well, I have seen this place over 100 times and have passed it by every time without a moment's hesitation. I mean, at night it looks amazing, but during the day, it really, really doesn't. That's the problem right there. I worked downtown from January through July this year. During the day.

My friend Chathum talked about Panad Express in his post yesterday. Thinking of TomTom, I asked if Chathum had ever been to Fong's in Rexburg (not new Fong's). He said he loved it, but suggested Ming Wah!

In a half hour, I will be eating there. Totally heterosexual man-date. Seven reviews, all of them positive. Not to mention they all basically said the same thing: Cheap and Delicious. Perfect.

Afterwards maybe a quick stop at Goodwill. Maybe not. And hopefully hanging with the fabulous miss Cathy Jones tonight. She's pretty cool!

Love,

The Only One

Get over it, Charlie Brown.

This has been a weird night. I think this is the first time I have felt every emotion in one night in a very long time. I mean when was the last time you had something like that? True, sometimes I exaggerate a little bit, but life, man. It happens fast. If I didn't write this down, it would fade away. It's just been super weird though. I don't sound very articulate, I know. It's 2:30 in the morning.. What are you doing? Sleeping. Gimme a break!

Well, since my previous post, I have showered, got dressed, tried my new Dirty English (Juicy Couture for men) pomade. The pomade, by the way, is simply amazing. My hair was elegant tonight. After checking to make sure I had everything on right and in the right place, I went off to the dance. As asked, I got there a half hour early. I don't mind being early, I really don't. But if you're gonna ask me to be early, don't have me there and ignore me. It's kind of rude. That's bitterness.

As the night went on and the dance started happening, the lights went down and the music went up. My stomache was doing something fierce. It started hurting like crazy. Just mind blowing horrible. That's indigestion.

As I was solving the problem of my innards, I started receiving texts from people I knew that were inquiring the status of the dance. They told me they were on their way. They told me they couldn't wait to see me, that they couldn't wait to dance with me. I started to just think, maybe tonight w0n't be such a bad night after all. That's excitement and hope.

I have a friend who is a really swell gal. We met recently, 13 days ago, to be exact. She's pretty neat and her name is Rachel. Anyway, she was at the dance, and she didn't think I would ask her to dance, because some guys are lame. This means that they talk to girls and tell them that they will dance with them, but when it comes time to dance, they don't dance. For the first slow dance chance I had, I found Rachel and asked her to dance. That's building confidence.

After I had danced with Rachel, I was relieved, for now I had discovered I was not lame, and that is a good feeling. I waited around for the next dance. You see, Rachel is a very nice person. She knows I have interest invested in a friend of hers. A friend that may or may not read this. Her name is Rhianna. It's okay, I'm not afraid to say it. It's probably pretty obvious anyway. I don't do too well at hiding my emotions. It's not really my style. Anyway, I had danced with Rhianna, who has the beauty and grace of Audrey Hepburn, and it's simply amazing. If by chance she reads this, I apologize for not telling you that in person. That's shyness and butterflies.

I know butterflies are not an emotion. Get over it, Charlie Brown.

The dance was winding down. I had no set-in-stone plans. That's worry.

I wanted to definitely hang out with people afterwards and possibly get a bite to eat. After all, the last time I had eaten was around two o'clock or ten hours before the dance. I was talking to Jackie, or Jacque (just so she knows I know how to spell it), who was down to hang. I asked Rachel and Rhianna, they were down too, but wanted a larger group. Enter the afterparty. Rachel got people and I got people. Our people got more people. That's sharing.

We got there and had around 20 people or so. I don't want to overestimate this number, but it's probably at least that. I love hanging out with nice people that are down for a good time of just talking and getting to know each other a little more. That's love.

When we were arranging our tables/booths, everyone was trying to figure out where to sit and who they wanted to sit by and all that fun stuff. I thought for sure I had it planned out right, that the seating order would be perfect. But it wasn't. I wanted to sit next to Rhianna, which I know it's not a big deal that I didn't, but still, Rachel knows I like her, or at least like her enough to want to get to know her, and learn about her and all of that good stuff. I'm glad Rachel sat by me, but I wanted to sit by Rhianna (I know, I'm a five year old). That's betrayal.

I love making jokes. Occasionally I make not good jokes, or jokes that cross the line for some people. Upon first sitting down, I said "that's what she said." To which everyone laughed and found it very amusing. Later on in the night, our waiter, Will said something that I thought was perfect. Naturally I repeated the line. This time no one really heard what he said, so they asked me to repeat what he had said. When I did this, Rachel told me to stop being inappropriate. That's shame.

Now I love everyone that was in the group tonight. I know some of them more than others, naturally, some people just fit better than others. After a while, I just felt like no one was listening to me or that no one really cared what I had to say. That they wouldn't notice if I left, which I did. That's feeling unwanted.

I got in my car, dropped Jackie off at her car and headed home. This whole time I have been, and am still, texting Chathum. What a cool guy. He is a great friend who keeps things funny, but also can give really good advice. That along with my music, and everything got better. When I pulled into my usual parking spot in front of my house, I was playing What Became of the Likely Lads by The Libertines. This song is not just amazing, but it has deep meaning for me. I have two really good friends from my past that made this song mean something to me. They made music real. Sometimes it's just the thing to make me feel better. It worked. That's comfort and joy.

Merry Christmas.

Love,

The Only One

The Interview pt. 2 (after)

Well, take a guess how it went. Okay, to be fair, the interview actually went very well. I did an awesome job in the application process. The lady said I did exceptionally well in the mock phone call. So in that time, I was thinking okay, this is awesome, I totally got the job. After all, it's a call center, EVERYONE gets hired... Right?

Wrong. They stopped hiring two days ago. Given the fact that it is a call center, they probably hire and fire the whole company within the space of three months, still. Imagine going through the whole process of applying online, then going in early, doing more tests, followed by an interview, just to have them tell you they aren't hiring. They have an ad in the paper saying they are hiring. You have a friend that works there saying they are hiring. You have an employment referring agency telling you that they are hiring. I don't blame them. It's fine, that's just business. In this economy, nothing is certain. It's just ridiculous to think that I banked on this job. A job I did not necessarily want, but day by day the job search gets more desperate. A job that I believed would hire anyone.

As I was telling my dad about the happenings of the day, He told me something that I always knew, but let slip in the back of my mind. Don't ever bank on anything. I needed to always have something for a backup. You never know what will happen or what anyone will do. Unfortunately this happened to me today because I was not prepared. As I left the call center I remembered that I had a paycheck waiting for me at the temp agency for last week's work. When I got there, I found this guy that I worked with on a one day job last week. The job consisted of a mundane task: Putting labels on light bulbs. Very easy to do, and very easy to get fast at. I worked twice as fast as the other two people there that day. Hell, I worked faster than the guy that owned the warehouse. Being the gentleman that I am, I figured I would ask how the job search was going for him. I found out that he had been hired by the company that I just left after the interview. He had gotten a job at the place I applied at. He was in the right place at the right time. This is just frustrating beyond belief. It just shows that you cannot wait. You have to be out there. You can't let time slip. It doesn't matter how smart you are, or what skills you have. A company is not going to hire someone less qualified, then find you and edit/undo the situation. They are stuck with the first person.

After that whole debacle, I thought I could at least go to the Salvation Army and find something there to make me smile. I got a tie hanger for 89 cents and some fabric that I think is quite amazing.

I have a dance I am going to tonight. I have to tell the truth, most people know me as a dancing fiend. I'm not very good, but I love to dance and have fun with my friends. Tonight is a themed dance, the Happy Days dance. At first I hated it. I hated the theme, I hated that my ward at church was in charge, I hated that I was not asked to be in charge of the music or anything for that matter. For some reason that all changed this morning when I was texting Chelsie. She just made my whole outlook change by asking me to help get some music for the dance. Not only did it make me feel like I was helping out, but it also gave me something to do.

I have a new design for a shirt that I think is pretty amazing. I'm a little worried about copyright issues, but not too much. I probably won't sell any, so it's just another design, but if I do sell some, that would be amazing. I don't think very many people read this, but I would certainly like to invite anyone who reads this or anyone at all to join part of the HSC purchasing family. I will have a picture of the latest design sometime this weekend.

Love,

The Only One

The Interview pt. 1 (before)

This is a picture of the building I will probably be working at soon. I have an interview set up in an hour. It's downtown, which I kind of hate. Working downtown and being downtown are different. Parking is always a hassle, I don't care how executive treatment you wanna pretend it is.

This job is a customer service position at a call center for cell phone customers. I have heard that they are very relaxed, but I hope they are not too relaxed. I know I have to answer calls and be on the phone with people. The last call center I worked at, I was making the calls to people to conduct surveys. People did not like this very much, and I am quickly finding out why. I have hung up on many people conducting consumer surveys, especially with all of the election surveys. I'm glad those are done.

Luckily this one should be a little less stressful. I will listen to people's problems with their phones/coverage and try to help them solve their problems. It's kind of ridiculous, I know, but it should be something good to fill up my days for now. I need the money, and this is the quickest way it seems. I better leave early, because parking downtown is no fun.

I'm still rooting for my temp agencies and UPS, but I'll take what I can get. They all pay in American dollars, and that's what I need now.

Wish me luck!

The Only One

Put your phone down!

I haven't been able to start blogging on time because people keep texting me. Don't get me wrong, I love to stay in contact with all of you, but seriously, it's kind of ridiculous. During the day when I try to have a decent conversation with all of you, you're like incognito or something, but then at night, which is usually when I take care of business, or try to, is when all of you decide to start communicating. It's no big deal, just annoys me at times. I still love hearing about your days though. So don't stop, just don't tell me nothing.

Now that I have that out of the way, let me start off to celebrating Chathum a happy birthday. What a champ! He's a good guy. Do something nice in honor of him, because he is one of the nicest guys I know. And I know a lot of people.

Now that I have complained and celebrated I'll speak my mind. Watch out! Look at this picture on the left side of this entry. That's a very cute guy. That's me! Can you believe it? almost two years ago to the day. It's pretty ridiculous. Look at those legs! Those were my legs. Operation Pretty Boy is in full effect. Not that it matters to you reading this, but I'm gonna look like that again soon. Maybe not the black hair with the red spot, but maybe. I do love me some good hair. I have a friend up here that graduated from the Paul Mitchell Hair Academy. I don't talk to her much, but she is willing to try any project involving hair. It's kind of nice knowing that there are people that are skilled and confident enough to take risks and be comfortable with what happens, no matter what happens. I think sometimes I take the wrong risks and don't take enough of them.

Romance is bugging me a lot lately. I'm always trying to meet new people and make the most friends I can, and I do a pretty good job at it, if I may say so myself. The only problem is that I crush on people super easy. I'm respectful with ladies, but I'm a HUGE flirt. It's kind of ridiculous.

I didn't get back into BYU-Idaho. I'm sad, but I won't mope. That's just stupid to do. I didn't get in, big deal. It means I have to do what I can, and totally haul balls at it. I mean don't just do good, but do it better than ever before. I'm okay with that. It means progression. I'm totally command right now. Blue is a command color, and I am wearing blue.

Love,

The Only One

My new comb

I don't usually fall in love with beauty products..

Ok sorry for lying in the very first line of this entry. I just thought I would let you know that this is my favorite comb. At first glance I believed it to be a novelty item, but looked closer and decided it was essential for my collection.

With my previous post, I have been turned on to music with open ears and an open heart. A good friend of mine, Andy, told me he was listening to the new Guns 'n' Roses album. He said it was really good. I'll admit, I'm always a little skeptical about an artist that I'm familiar with releasing fresh stuff, but Axl did not dissapoint.

It seems important to mention that as the world revolves, we evolve. If we are progressing, we are falling back. Think of it like climbing a steep mountain. If you keep on climbing, you'll make it to the top, but if you sit back and rest for too long, you'll roll down without ceasing.

Love,

The Only One

American Boy??

So I arrived home about 17 minutes ago, give or take a handful of minutes and seconds. Today was a lovely day out, not too hot or cold and no ice to slide my car like my heart into something fast. I've been debating the state of my heart a lot lately. I think I set myself up for heartbreak more than I provide for others. Before anyone else reads this and says it's false, you are crazy.

I would fight a barracuda with my bare hands. I feel bad for Kanye West. He goes through a lot. His mom died shortly after his last album released from complications that occurred during plastic surgery. Say what you want, but he has gone through a lot. I don't really care much for celebrities. I'll think they put out good stuff, but I don't find myself preoccupied with how they feel or their personal lives. I can't help but feel for the guy though. His new album which will be released on the 25, or next week for people that don't want to find a calendar. It's almost entirely singing, which I think will cause a lot of people to change their view on him. I've been playing a majority of these tracks for the past three weeks or so. Basically jamming on the future before you all even knew about it. I feel that this is the one that will be seen as a huge stepping stone for him. It's so different than all of his previous albums and mix tapes. I see someone that is stuck in a struggle between spoken word, hip hop, and stadium status. He is going to bring it to a whole new level. He also is feeling vulnerable and brave at the same time: The loss of his dear mother, Donda, has caused him to look deep within himself. I'm not going to get technical or act like I know more than I do. This is an album that I will hold dear to me for a long time. Listen to street lights.

The title of this entry came from the song by the lovely Estelle ft. Mr. Kanye West. Love it or hate it, this is music. Kanye West is a rock star. Don't mistake this.

Special shout out to all of you that have been there along the way listening to what I have to say. I hope all of you keep reading this and will continue to be part of my life.

Love,

The Only One

Stuck, but not in a rut. (This is where I'm supposed to be)

There are many things that I could complain about at this point in time, but what's the point? It's not going to get me anywhere. I'm anxious to find out where I will be going to school in January, and it would be mind blowing to find out, but in time, alas, I shall find out. Also it's a little frustrating on the whole job thing. The part that sucks the most with layoffs is that it doesn't matter how hard you work or how much effort and care you put into your job, there is no way to avoid the inevitable layoff. Frustrating as it seems, I realize that I need money.

I won't be bitter. I'll just keep smiling. Keep writing. Keep designing. I have to be honest, I haven't skateboarded much. I should probably get more exercise. I've cut the bad habits out, I mean, naturally I'm healthier, but still, I need to work out. Luckily My hair is decent.